LozK, Noodle and i had lunch with our old history teacher today, Hains (you know, the one who wears a patch and was a real character?). At first, we were a little awkward, especially when he kissed us hello on the cheek, like grown-ups, but he tried hard to put us at ease; and it worked. We went to a cafe around the corner and us girls had hotdogs for lunch. Poor Hains was on a diet, but he scarfed the ends of our dogs down. Saving food from waste is a crucial part of a diet!
We caught Hains up on uni, and the other girls form our history class, before moving on to more interesting topics. First, we covered the teacher at our old school who'd been arrested for sexual assault on a student. I don't want to think he did it. And i'm definitely not sure he did. The circumstances are suspicious, there are gaps in the stories. His life has been ruined, whether the charges are proven or not. He was always so nice to me at school. The whole situation is horrible.
Then we moved on to lighter topics, like movies and the Oscars. We agreed that Slumdog Millionaire, Valkyrie, Milk, Frost/Nixon and The Changeling were must sees. I recommended Doubt. Hains and i agreed that Tropic Thunder was crap, while the other girls disagreed and thought it was hilarious. We debated the merits of growing old gracefully versus not (think Angelina Jolie and Nicole Kidman - where are the signs of aging?). Then we moved on to more interesting topics.
The first of these started with Marilyn Monroe and ended with gay men. Apparently, studies have been done that indicate that there is no such thing as a bisexual man. Men who labelled themselves 'bisexual' yielded the same results as men who considered themselves to be 'homosexual', when shown porn, in comparison with men who labelled themselves 'heterosexual'. The study was then decided to indicate that the men who said they were 'bisexual' really preferred guys; and, if they were with women, they were with skinny, androgynous women (who look just a little like guys). This pleased us women immensley, because the logic then becomes 'any guy who doesn't like our curves is literally gay'. Made us all feel a little better.
We came up with game plans for each of us. Hains, being a feminist with that much needed male perspective, gave us the insider knowledge. The plan for Noodle was for her to be polite but distant instead of angry with her bf; it was sure to drive him nuts. He'd be panicked that something was wrong and would treat her better, because he would be worried he was expendable. Or something like that. The plan for LozK was to play the field and not settle down until the guy in her life was prepared to majorly commit; otherwise what was the point? As for me, the other girls were quick to point out my ridiculous love-history, and jump on the flaws of the guys i'm silly enough to fall for. Hains' solution was to join the Labour political club at uni. He thinks i'm an excellent leader, so should meet other leaders to complement me. And then i'd be happily paired up in no time. We've been sent away with strict instructions to comply with the plans laid out and to keep him updated.
One other thing he taught us? 'The Triangle'. The triangle is a recipe for everything you need in a guy. The first point is attractiveness; he doesn't have to be classically hot, just have something that makes your heart jump. The second is personality; who wants a guy who doesn't have that? The third point is the most important; character. This isn't to be confused with personality. Character is all about the morals and the values of the person. Whether he can be trusted, whether he's reliable and there for you, and all of that stuff. I tend to do ok on the first two, but sometimes the third lets me down. That's how i always end up hurt, apparently. I've never thought of things that way before. We're meant to work on that too.
Lunch was lots of fun. We're going to do it again soon, next term or something. In the meantime, we're going to keep him posted. Mum was freaking out that he was going to take advantage of us or something. It's sad that i can't even tell her about my nice lunch, because she makes it into something sordid. Nobody has good opinions of anyone these days. Hains is a nice guy, and he looks out for us girls, even though he's not seen us in over a year!
I'm already looking forward to our next lunch date.
We caught Hains up on uni, and the other girls form our history class, before moving on to more interesting topics. First, we covered the teacher at our old school who'd been arrested for sexual assault on a student. I don't want to think he did it. And i'm definitely not sure he did. The circumstances are suspicious, there are gaps in the stories. His life has been ruined, whether the charges are proven or not. He was always so nice to me at school. The whole situation is horrible.
Then we moved on to lighter topics, like movies and the Oscars. We agreed that Slumdog Millionaire, Valkyrie, Milk, Frost/Nixon and The Changeling were must sees. I recommended Doubt. Hains and i agreed that Tropic Thunder was crap, while the other girls disagreed and thought it was hilarious. We debated the merits of growing old gracefully versus not (think Angelina Jolie and Nicole Kidman - where are the signs of aging?). Then we moved on to more interesting topics.
The first of these started with Marilyn Monroe and ended with gay men. Apparently, studies have been done that indicate that there is no such thing as a bisexual man. Men who labelled themselves 'bisexual' yielded the same results as men who considered themselves to be 'homosexual', when shown porn, in comparison with men who labelled themselves 'heterosexual'. The study was then decided to indicate that the men who said they were 'bisexual' really preferred guys; and, if they were with women, they were with skinny, androgynous women (who look just a little like guys). This pleased us women immensley, because the logic then becomes 'any guy who doesn't like our curves is literally gay'. Made us all feel a little better.
We came up with game plans for each of us. Hains, being a feminist with that much needed male perspective, gave us the insider knowledge. The plan for Noodle was for her to be polite but distant instead of angry with her bf; it was sure to drive him nuts. He'd be panicked that something was wrong and would treat her better, because he would be worried he was expendable. Or something like that. The plan for LozK was to play the field and not settle down until the guy in her life was prepared to majorly commit; otherwise what was the point? As for me, the other girls were quick to point out my ridiculous love-history, and jump on the flaws of the guys i'm silly enough to fall for. Hains' solution was to join the Labour political club at uni. He thinks i'm an excellent leader, so should meet other leaders to complement me. And then i'd be happily paired up in no time. We've been sent away with strict instructions to comply with the plans laid out and to keep him updated.
One other thing he taught us? 'The Triangle'. The triangle is a recipe for everything you need in a guy. The first point is attractiveness; he doesn't have to be classically hot, just have something that makes your heart jump. The second is personality; who wants a guy who doesn't have that? The third point is the most important; character. This isn't to be confused with personality. Character is all about the morals and the values of the person. Whether he can be trusted, whether he's reliable and there for you, and all of that stuff. I tend to do ok on the first two, but sometimes the third lets me down. That's how i always end up hurt, apparently. I've never thought of things that way before. We're meant to work on that too.
Lunch was lots of fun. We're going to do it again soon, next term or something. In the meantime, we're going to keep him posted. Mum was freaking out that he was going to take advantage of us or something. It's sad that i can't even tell her about my nice lunch, because she makes it into something sordid. Nobody has good opinions of anyone these days. Hains is a nice guy, and he looks out for us girls, even though he's not seen us in over a year!
I'm already looking forward to our next lunch date.
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