Uni went back last monday. Already, i'm over a week behind. You see, i did five exams during exam week, and got results for five of my topics (P, P, P, C. D in case anyone was interested). Then there was my evil intensives topic. The whole class (of 200) failed the first one, then most of us failed the resubmission, and then we had to have an interview with her to discuss everything that we did wrong and prove that we weren't idiots. My interview was this week. I didn't find out about it until monday, and spent most of the week preparing for it. So any chance to spend the week studying and getting on top of study was lost. 

I passed the intensive. 

But now i'm behind. And this weekend is a writeoff because of a million reasons. So, im going to spend the whole term playing catch up. Such fun...

Well, i'm officially a failiure, which is always nice to discover. Strike three on my research quiz, and i now have to schedule a meeting with the topic co-ordinator to discuss what happens next. There is so much that is unfair about this situation, and i'm going to have to try and get these points across to the teacher, without sounding angry, upset or irrational. And i'll have to beg for a fourth chance... or a pass. Seeing as i got over 70% in the first round (where the pass mark was 80%), and after the second round the pass mark was reduced to 70%, i think i should get through... but i only got 55% for the second round, and i have no idea how i went in the third round - just that i didn't do well enough. Fan-fucking-tastic. Uni is so freaking stressful. If i don't somehow pass this quiz, then i fail the topic and it goes on my transcript forever. I really need to become a recluse and only study alllllllll the time.

So, the amount of work that i have to do is insane. I'm scared crapless. Mainly because i'm unable to focus. And i am spending most of my time running between work, other work, doctors appointments and catchups with friends that are more necessary than luxury - otherwise they won't be my friends anymore! On top of that, i have a birthday party to plan, an office and a bedroom to clean, a brother to drive around all weekend while my parents are away... stressful!! I'm enjoying my new blog though, much more interesting than studying.

Kids Galore

This week is kids club week. So far, we've had 92 kids over the entire week, and 50+ each day. It's our biggest kids club yet, and things are a little crazy. We have plenty of leaders, but it's still incredibly draining. I'm also really sick, like throat unable to bear swallowing, and head dizzy and spinning all the time. It's unpleasant, to say the least. The kids are having a great time, and the leaders are getting along well. The activities are going well (although this afternoon, the public transport that we used was disastrous - last time i trust a male with anything, i swear). Right now, i can hardly stay awake. I thought i'd just let everyone know that i'm not dead - although i may be dying of a mysterious illness - and give a reason for my absence. I'll be back at some point, possibly after a few months sleep. An induced coma perhaps? 

Hope everyone had a lovely easter!

As we speak (write?), i'm addressing a bajillion - of what feels like a bajillion - envelopes for my birthday. The difficulty of this is compounded because many people haven't given me their addresses, so i have to play detective. Thank goodness for facebook and online white pages.  

I currently have no money, as i spent it all on birthday pressies for other people today, and food for boyfriend and i, and our trip to gold class last week (remind me to tell you about that later!). This has nothing to do with my invites. It just happens to be worrying me today!! 

I have so much to do tonight, and i have to be up at half seven tomorrow morning, as i have a stupid and confusing class at 9am and traffic at that time of day is appalling. Getting there will be a nightmare.

Jeepers, life is taxing at the moment. I can't wait for the holidays.

This week is a struggle. I have so much work to do (study wise, i have the week off from the deli) and i'm just getting nowhere. It's a battle to study, i just can't focus and i'm making no headway. Last night, i had to leave youth group early - i just couldn't do it. I wasn't going to be any use to anyone, i had no enthusiasm and was feeling awful. I don't know if i'm sick, or what, but i'm useless. I WANT to work, i want to get everything done and be on top of things for once. It's so stressful being behind. It's so frustrating. I WANT TO BE FUNCTIONAL!!

I had big plans for the Adelaide Cup long weekend. These mainly involved sleeping, cleaning my room, reading and getting up to date with all of my study. Instead, i predominately worked all weekend. I worked thursday night at Drake's, all friday at church, saturday afternoon at Drake's, saturday night at church, sunday i had a 21st, sunday night i had church, monday i worked all day... needless to say, didn't get much done.

I always get a weird sinking feeling in my tummy when i have work undone. Readings, and lecture notes, and tute prep... it's only week 2! i haven't even started thinking about my assignments.

And my room is so messy. I believe in the saying that a messy desk equals a messy mind. Even though i study on my bed and not my desk, i don't like the mess at all. It distracts me. So the pile of hats and bags under my desk, waiting for me to clean out one of my cupboards so as to find space for them, is driving me nuts. As are the copious piles of books scattering the room, which need homes and i don't know where to put them. i'll have to store some of them in the roof, which always makes me sad.

The giant pile of books i bought from Koorong (hi, i'm annabel, and i have a book addiction) are still in their plastic bag, because i'm not sure where to put them - and i still have to find time to read them all!!

I have to finish my journal from when i was overseas (because i suck, and still haven't done so), pin all of my badges onto a denim bag i found (i'm not sure if the bag looks better with or without them, so this could be a mistake) and read the magazines i have stacked next to my bed (i really should stop buying them until i've read the ones i already have...).

So much to do, so little time. Clearly that's why i'm blogging in my uni break, instead of studying. And why i'm going to visit boyfriend and try to study there during my three hour break, instead of staying here (saving myself the drive home and back) and possibly being more sucecssful in study.

Oh well!

I don't know exactly how much i like my job.

Well, i know exactly how much i like working at the deli. Not at all. It's boring, it isn't stimulating, my boss is a cow and i hate it. I was not built to do a stupid job like this. I'm achieving nothing. I don't have regular shifts and i'm constantly getting called about shift changes or people who need their shifts covered. I had a 4-8pm shift tonight. My boss asked if i could come in at 3.40. I said fine, but she then texted back and asked if i could come at 3.30pm. How stupid! I am already dreading it. I have one hour and forty-five minutes until i have to endure the torture.

As for my other job, at the moment is seems to be causing me far more stress than pleasure. It's a constant struggle to keep everyone happy. I'm not making any progress and feel like i'm running fast but only standing still. The people i work with are nice people, but working with them is becoming so difficult that i can't stand it. The thought of going into work tomorrow is depressing me. I have so much to do, but the very idea just makes me shut down.

I have piles of study to do already, and a missed class to catch up on. And my room is a literal garbage pit at the moment, because i have so much that i need to do in there. I hate it. But i have hardly had a moment to myself in the last week, and when i do, cleaning isn't my number one priority. Now i'm working tonight, tomorrow, saturday and monday. Sunday i have to go to a 21st that i don't want to go to. My 5-day weekend is a total write off.

Survived!

Kids Club is over for another term. I survived!! It was the biggest Kids Club that we've ever had - i think we had about 85 kids overall throughout the week, and about 60 every day. The amount of kids and the lack of leaders lead to some pretty intense chaos, especially earlier in the week. By thursday, things had settled down and we were less run off our feet. The kids were great and most of the leaders were, too (not all - there were some who caused me more grief than any of the kids).

Friday we went to St. Kilda adventure playground, which was awesome. We've not been there in a number of years, due to the fact that it's a very open playground and we worry about safety. However, everything went smoothly and the kids loved it! The only thing wrong was that we weren't there long enough!!

Even though the week went well, i'm now beyond exhausted. It was probably worth it, but it's always so draining. Apparently i did a good job though, so i'm happy enough.Thank goodness it's only for a week!! Now, i'm off to relax some more... I'm too tired to move!!!

Dying For Freedom!!!

Tomorrow is the day of reckoning that begins my exam period. Here's what the next two weeks look like...

Monday 16th - Corporate Law Exam 5.45pm
Tuesday 17th - Psychology, Human Development Exam 8.45am
Wednesday 18th - Law & Med Exam 5.45pm

Friday 20th - Sunday 22nd - Schoolies Green Team volunteer

Tuesday 24th - Real Property Law Exam 1.15pm

So far, i've almost finished my corporate law notes. I aim to get those done before bed tonight. Thankfully, it's an open book exam, so i can take everything in with me. Even though i don't know the work all that well, i'm hoping i can get it all together during the exam and write down answers for the problem questions. All i want is a pass... if i finish my notes tonight, then i can put sticky tabs in them and by text books, to help me along. Fingers and toes crossed.

Somehow, i've got to start/finish psychology notes tomorrow. Because the exam is first thing on tuesday morning, i've not got much time to prepare, and ideally need my notes organised before my corporate exam. I've only been to the first six lectures, and have a friend's notes for the last five... but i've not so much as looked at the middle bunch. 30% of my final grade will depend on the 40 multiple choice questions. With any luck, i'll be able to get that. There are always two of the four options that are easily ruled out, but always two that are hard to choose between. In the revision lecture, i guessed about 75% of the questions rightly, which was relieving. But who knows how it will all go... There are also two essays, each worth 5% of my final grade. We were given a list of 10 questions, and four of them will be in the exam. However, i've not even looked at them, so that will be of very little help to me... the quick glance i had was not at all reassuring - they all looked far too hard! I've got to get my notes in some sort of order tomorrow, so i can learn them after i get home from tomorrow's exam. It's not open book, so i have to commit as much to memory as i can. I'm panicking slightly.

I'm not even worrying about Lw and Med until later on tuesday. I've already finished noting all of the lectures/tutes from this semester, so it shouldn't be too hard to have a look through them all before the exam. It's open book, so it should be ok. The teachers says things seem fairly straightforward.

As for real property, i've not even started thinking about it. I know my notes are almost up to date, and i've got days between my exams to finish them off. I'll take my notes to schoolies, and work on them during the week - it should be fine.

So, mainly, the problems lie with corporate law and psychology. And the biggest problem is the fact that they're so close together! If only i had more time...

Add to that the fact that i've been really, really sick this week. Serious head spins, sore throat, blocked nose, wracking cough... not fun. I'm on antibiotics now, but they're seriously taking their toll. I'm exhausted. Today, i had to keep having half hour naps. I wasn't really awake until later this afternoon. I've worked solidy since, but most of the day was a write off! I have to have an early night or else i'll be dead tomorrow and for the exam. Blarrrrgh.

Exam period sucks. I'm dying for the freedom of holidays!!! Wish me luck.

Kind Words

I have just got off the phone from some bloke whose name I didn't catch who was asking me questions about your good self regarding a customer position with their company.

I caught me somewhat on the hop, but I was very clear and firm and explicit in saying to him that you were an excellent, natural leader AND yet a team player, who would be very good with cutomers -- and not losing your temper, and so on.

He asked what I thought your strongest quality was and I replied, without hesitation, that you were a person of proven integrity; honest and truthful and straight-forward [eg. not some precious princess].

I said that you had been a diligent student AND that you were so friendly to me in that wretched year I spent at that school [I left all that out, of course] explaining that you showed yourself to be somebody who was cheerful, organized and made an effort to ease in a new teacher in a way which was mature and appropriate.

He asked if you could write well? I replied that you were an excellent writer and analyst, sophisticated beyond your years. That you scored an 'A' for History. That you spoke with great clarity as well.

I said that if you were suddenly asked to do a written task, you would not grumble or panic, but simply get on with it. A can-do person who would be an asset for any enterprize that took you on. I can't recommend her highly enough, and so forth.

He seemed suitably pleased.

All the best at actually getting the job, whatever it is?

Hope all that helped!

It was easy to speak positively about you because a] it's all true, and b] I do admire your character and capacities for success.

I applied for a job on wednesday, and got an interview the same day. The above email was sent to me by one of my referees. This man was a teacher at my high school in year 12, he taught me history. We got along really well, and LozK and i still catch up with him every few months for lunch to chat about everything. He's a real character. When i read this email, i was so pleased. Everything is a bit of a struggle at the moment. So to read this and see that someone us unequivocally behind me, supporting me and thinking that i'm capable of anything, means so much.

It really brightened up my week.

Also, i got the job. It's not an ideal job. I'll be working at a petrol station. I applied because i'd already applied to so many places and had no luck. I needed the job, and didn't think i'd get it. But i did. The man who interviewed me was very impressed and hired me the next day. Apparently i'd interviewed very well and was the best for the job.

I should've been happy to hear this. But Boyfriend also applied for the job - so my getting it meant that he didn't. I eventually rang the guy and asked if Boyfriend has been the next choice for the job, but he hadn't been, so that was one thing. Mum wasn't pleased with the job choice, and, ideally, i wouldn't have chosen it myself. I'd love to work in a bookstore, or in a job where shifts are shorter. Instead, i'll be working eight hour shifts, probably from 7am-3pm (otherwise 3pm-11pm or 11pm-7am...). I'll have to get up very early, and i have no idea how i'll fit it in with uni and kids club work. The only positive is that the money is good. And i need the money.

I've accepted the job, mainly because of the money. I need the money. And i'm trying hard to be responsible and stop applying to other places in case i can get something better. It's confusing. I'm not sure what to do, and have nobody to talk to about it. Mum is irrational and dad really doesn't have the energy to care about what i do. Boyfriend does, but i don't like admiting that i'm worried that i'm not going to be able to handle it or something.

As it stands, the job is mine (even though i'm away for six weeks out of the next two months - no idea why they wanted to hire me!) and i start training the week after i get back from fiji. Yes, that's the week i'm supposed to be planning kids club that week. Who knows how i get everything done. But i'll get $600 for my training week alone, as it's 9-3 each day. I need the money for travel, and mum and i have been fighting so much lately that i think i'll be saving it up to move out. I can't afford to turn it down...

Anyway, my main point was that i got that beautiful email from Hains and it put a smile on my dial. He's a legend. And it's nice having a bit of a fan club!!

2 Down, 1 To Go...

Well, i may or may not have just failed my psych exam. But i wasn't totally clueless in it, so hopefully i scraped a pass. Anyway, only one more now. By this time tomorrow exams will be well and truly over. Just have to scrape another pass tomorrow... not going to be easy. Of course, i'm not studying for it just now.. just having a little break... hehe.

I've been so busy recently, poor blog has come second. But here's the quick update for anyone who cares...

I had my last official shift at stateswim on saturday. All the parents said how much they'd miss me and how great a teacher i was, even some of the parents whose kids weren't in my class anymore. After my shift a bunch of the other teachers said they'd miss me, and THEN the coolest thing happened. My supervisor gave me a present!! It was a gorgeous mug, and a card saying that everyone would miss me. It was an excellent last shift (even though they've already got me lined up for a bunch more fill in shifts over the coming months, but whatever. At least i don't have to get up early on a saturday anymore!!).

Oh, and i went out to my car on saturday morning to find that some moron had egged it. Yup, about a dozen eggs smashed on the front and back windows. Do you know how hard it is to get egg off a car? My windows are still all weird. This isn't the first time people have done this - i don't know why! What has my car ever done to anyone? Grr...

On sunday arvo i went to Bobby's 4th birthday party. It was at the Miniature Railway place in Prospect and was so much fun! Granted, when i got there and was asked to pay, i realised that there was practically no money in my wallet. It hadn't even occured to me that i'd need money. It was seven dollars. I had about $4.50, then found $2 on the floor... i went up to the little old man and asked to go in to borrow money off someone, and the lovely man let me go it with what i had. Lovely. I spent the next few hours being swamped by little kids who wanted me to take them on the little trains that circled the property. It was kind of like sitting in a clown car - my knees were somewhere up near my chin when i sat on one of the little carriages, but it was actually really fun!! Especially when i had two kids tugging on each hand because they wanted me to ride with them - feel the love. The birthday boy loved his pressie and the kids were adorable playing pass-the-parcel... good fun.

The rest of the weekend was filled with study, study, church, study breaks, study... the usual. Nothing else of interest! Ok, really should try to get back to the studying attempt now... ugh. Almost free!!!

Ahhhh...

I have too much to do. I've also had plenty of free time recently, that i have completely wasted. I have readings to finish before i start my 2100wrd essay that's due early this week. I then have more readings, and three exams to prepare for. While it all seems like it's a way off right now, it's actually looming awfully quickly. And i've got the feeling i'm totally screwed.

The last few days have consisted of me wasting my free time, working at stateswim and at church, going to youth group, hanging out with a friend and drinking iced coffee at the 24-hr Villi's bakehouse. It's hardly been anything close to productive... I just don't WANT to work. I'm majorly starting to feel the stress, unfortunately.

On another note, i'm feeling very unsettled about something. It's not unusual for me to not know what i'm thinking about things, not to trust my own mind to not be tricking me or to believe what i first think and not second guess myself. I don't know what to think, how to react, and what the right thing to do is. I could wait it out... but maybe i should do something else? Hard to know what my thoughts are all jumbled, and i've no idea which thoughts are my own and which are put there by society, expectations and delusions of a better world. I wish i could just weed out my true thoughts from everything else!

Long Weekends

Friday night wasn't excellent. I was beyond cranky, which was weird because i'd had a lovely day... even if in the middle of it i'd practically passed out while in the car because i felt so sick - but the parts of the day around that were good! But by friday night i was little miss cranky, so i bailed on work (after a few incredibly annoying interactions with various work people) after dropping the kids off.

Long weekends are better than usual weekends simply because of their length. So, already my weekend was off to a good start. Add that to the fact that a bunch of the parents at stateswim commented on how fantastic a teacher i am, and it was shaping up to be a fairly good saturday (despite the evil children, and bruises i now have from their violence). Afterwards, Loz and i hit up Maccas - because, why not. That took us an hour and half, and then we went into town.

We were hunting for SA: Heaps Good hoodies, which we found in Urban Cow (awesome shop, by the way. I wanted practically everything in the store... and couldn't afford anything) for $70, which shot our plan to hell, seeing as neither of us have any money. We also looked at computers, seeing as mine is dying (i now have no internet, in addition to countless viruses and an unknown amount of time before it shuts down again and i'm forced to using dad's stupid computer, which is annoying and icky and has no applications...), but i can't afford them either. Money sucks.

I was super cool on saturday night - i stayed home and studied, while my parents went out to party. I'm a loser. Ahh, the patheticness. I got a little work done, but, seeing as i am me and generally incompetent in the study area, it wasn't a lot.

Sunday morning we had Yum Cha for family lunch, which was pretty awesome. I like my food. Then i raced home and met Loz. We headed off to the movies to see Star Trek - It. Was. Awesome. Dramatic and awesome and super cool. I totally loved it. And will totally see it again... despite my no-money situation... hmm... money sucks. Then it was off to church to study for awhile and set up for the service. Which was very bizzare. And then i had a friend over for the night, which was good fun.

Overall, the weekend when you set it all out like that, didn't totally suck. However, once my friend had gone on monday, i crashed and burned and was beyond dismal. I'm thinkin June is going to be an unhappy month. So i'm awaiting July (end of exams and holidays will be a major july-related bonus).

I handed in my evil psych assignment today, and now have a week to get my act together on the next one - which i also have no idea about, a fact which isn't helped by the fact that i don't have a working computer. It's times like these that i hate technology. Now off for another night of studying. 50 bucks for people who can make me smile for an extended period of time.

Muddling Through

Well, it felt like a hugely long weekend. I took youth group kids to a conference/worship service on friday night; we missed the first half thanks to English being a tool and getting us lost, needed to get out and go to the toilet and, when i was on the phone for directions, jumping in the drivers seat and starting/stalling my car. I nearly killed him. I treat him like an adult, and he acts like a child. But he apologised, and i can't hold a grudge so it's all good now. We did make it in time for the second half of the service and heard a good talk about how we see the world today, how we take for granted everything that we have.

On saturday, i dragged my butt to stateswim. My kids are completely nuts, but some of them are absolutely adorable and i'll miss them when i have my last shift in a few weeks. That's right, i finally handed in my notice. My last permenant shift is on the 27th. I said i'd still do fill ins though, the extra money occasionally can't hurt. One of the parents of one of the kids i used to teach who moved up to the last class a few months ago came up to me on the weekend and thanked me for the great job i did teaching her little boy - he's already moved up to the next class. Comments like that make the job worth it, but so many parents just take my job for granted and just smile a hello at the start of class and yank their kid out of the water at the end. I'll miss a few of my babies, but i think i'll survive without my job... now i just have to find a new one!

After my shift we were supposed to have chinese for lunch with the family, but they bailed, so Loz and i grabbed our picnic gear and headed out to get some take-away chinese. Did you know that it's borderline impossible to find an open chinese restaurant at 2pm in the afternoon? Well, it is. So we got Maccas instead and got out rug out on Unley Oval and chilled there for a little while. ShirtlessBuddy and his little bro turned up and played soccer and hung out with us for awhile, telling us about their misadventures the night before. Afterwards, Loz and i flew to the bottle-o for some refreshments (and i didn't get carded, which means that they thought i was over 25; that means i apparently can pass for 16 or 25... weird) and then i had to whizz to the cinemas.

I met up with SB and a few of the girls to see Angels and Demons. I remember reading the book a few times, but it had been awhile and i couldn't remember the story perfectly. In the end that was probably a good thing, because i didn't spend the movie trying to pick out the discrepancies. Although quite sensationalist, the movie was a good one and had me on the edge of my seat as it got to its dramatic climax. Tom Hanks did a great job, though i'm generally not a fan of his, and Ewen McGreggor played his character with excellent believablity. The plot was well developed, thought not as much as it was in the book, but that can be expected. All in all, a good movie. It get's my thumbs up.

I raced home to find English waiting on my front doorstep, and we hung out for awhile, feeding his One Tree Hill addiction before i took him home.

Sunday saw an excellent morning service that was packed to capacity, full of kiddies and misadventures by our silly reverends. I stayed afterwards and tried to study all afternoon, but i didn't get nearly as much done as i should have. Evening service, i sung, i sounded a little like Kermit the Frog, i ate party pies, i watched the boys play pool and i took English home... and i didn't get any more study done.

My suckitude is amazing; i have enormous piles of work to do and no ambition, no desire, no drive to get any of it done. Screwed, i'm completely screwed. And yet i'm sitting here blogging instead of working... i am suffering both from absolute panic and complete disinterest... AH!

It's only monday, but i'm already completely and utterly desperate for the weekend. I don't have that much on that i'm looking forward to, but maybe i can get on top of my work and fingers crossed one night i'll have something pretty awesome to do... cross your fingers that it works out. And your toes. Any maybe your eyes? Whatever.

Geez, life sucks sometimes.

So sleepy...

...but just thought you should know how crazy stateswim is.

They rung me this morning and were absolutely desperate for a teacher. I told them i had to go to uni and hand in an assignment. They said they'd courier my assignment to uni for me. I said i had to hand it in myself. They said i could just work the first half of the shift. I caved and said yes. Which meant i barely got my assignment finished and into the drop-box in time. I'm so silly.

Tonight was an interesting night too, but i'm too tired to share. And tomorrow is the day i've been looking forward to. I'll talk to you soon.

Right now, i totally have to hit the hay. Back to stateswim in the morning!

Welcome To Crazy Town

It's no secret that i'm a little bit crazy. Not in the wear-a-plastic-bag-and-start-eating-food-from-a-garbage-bin kind of crazy. More like the something-good-finally-happens-and-i'm-so-freaked-out-that-i-might-wreck-it kind of crazy. Or maybe the i-have-so-much-work-to-do-but-i'm-not-actually-doing-it kind of crazy. I'm simultaneously stressing about everything that's going on, and too tired/chilled to actually do anything. Damned lack of motivation.

I've spent a few days doing little jobs, running around after some church boys and their computers, even getting a little study done. Just not enough. Last night was the first night i'd had more than eight hours sleep in over a week, yet today i'm still totally wiped. Maybe it's because today's also the first day i haven't been running around all day doing odd jobs. In fact, i've spent the morning reading, watching One Tree Hill and looking at my study sitting next to me. Soon, i'm off to uni to get a new student ID (did i tell you that my wallet was lost/stolen? I'm having to replace all of my cards and it's a pain in the butt), and then catching up with LozK at Marion... it's really hard to shop without access to my bank account! I suppose i can look at that as a good thing.

As for my new permanent state of freak-out, it's seemingly unavoidable, and try as i might i can't get it under control. I think it might be an irrational fear - but maybe it's not? Maybe i'm doing the wrong thing? Maybe i'm falling for someone else's mistake? Maybe this is all going to end in disaster. Maybe i should calm down. Maybe it's all going to work out really well and make me really happy? Who knows. I sure as hell don't. Welcome to the world of crazy drama in my head. It's no end of fun.

Anyway, i'm off to shower and hit up marion... maybe i can find some money somewhere. And then home to study study study until the wee hours of the morning. I'm actually looking forward to it - it's going to be awesome when i actually achieve something!!

E.x.h.a.u.s.t.e.d.

I'm so tired it's crazy. Here's why.

Sunday: I was at church by 7am for the dawn service, and Loz and i did our traditional easter egg swap and pancake eat afterwards. I made some badges before KC before the 10.30am service, where i made chocolate nests for our easter eggs. Yummy ! LittleM and i hit up subway for lunch, dd some more organising, then i had an hour to myself before i had to be back for band practice. I used that time wisely - to re-dye my hair because nobody had noticed it had changed! It's now offically much darker... it's weird to see myself in the mirror! I think i like it... and people definitely noticed! Band practice and the service were fine, but they were pretty quiet because lots of people had other plans for Easter. After cafe, we set up for KC, hanging space decorations everywhere. It was after 10.30 before i left. If you do the maths, that means that i spent 14.5hrs at church on sunday. That's perhaps a few too many.

On monday, Bri and i made last minute Oakbank plans. We got prettied up and ready to go - we would almost have been on time if i hadn't noticed that my wallet had been lost/stolen, which threw a little hitch into things... but eventually we kept moving. We made it to Bri's mate's place with plenty of time to spare, hung out there for a bit, then drove down to the members section. We had a nice big spot marked out just next to the track, with massive cars, alcohol, food... and a huge tarp that we strung up with some difficulty. We explored a little and saw half of Walford drunk up on the hill, and then we spent awhile just chilling in our spot, enjoying the sun, the food and the company. I got along really well with the boys that Bri introduced me to, so it was nice not to be the loner loser tagalong! I visited Loz and her mates - then placed some bets in the last two races. Apparently, i'm awesome. I always bet on the underdog (just in case!) - but i placed bets on some more sensible horsies too... which turned out ok! I won $49.50 on Akadaka, who came first in one race, and $13.50 on Edge Off, who came a super close second. I think overall i made a $35 profit, which isn't to shabby! We headed back to Bri's mates after the last race and four of us hung out in the basement (coolest basement ever, if u care to know), invented a drink (vodka, lemon lime and bitters fizzy drink, and lemonade - yum!!) and listened to records (woot for Fleetwood Mac!). The night was complete when we lit a fire. It was good hanging out with some new people - but i was having so much fun that i was late back to church where i was supposed to finish setting up for KC! I didn't end up getting home until after 12am. But it was an awesome day - and everyone thought i looked pretty, and they liked my hair.

This week has been full of KC stuff - last minute regos, money handling, screaming kids, difficult leaders, temper tantrums... i seem to spend a lot of time running around and not so much having fun these days. I end up stressed, and then i get cranky, so i'm sure that lots of people are pretty much sick to death of me already - unfortunately for them there are two more days to get through! But the kids seem to be enjoying themselves, which is great (even though there aren't many of them...). And, one of the little trouble makers has been behaving pretty well for me, which is heartening. It always feels like such a breakthrough when that happens. And some of the leaders are great, i appreciate their help so much, and love hanging out with them. We went to see DragonBall last night - i thought it was awesome, but the boys whinged about it's inaccuracies - which was lots of fun; but it did lead to another very late night. I'm pretty exhausted.

I had the night at home tonight (before the next three big nights i have planned) and aimed to do some homework... but i've not so much as cracked a book. And i'm thinking that i'm not even going to bother. At the rate i'm going, there's little chance that i'll achive very much until saturday afternoon at the earliest. Maybe if i stop pretending that i'll get much done before then, i'll be less stressed? Either way, i can't get rid of that unsettling 'uhoh, i've got so much to do' feeling in the pit of my stomach.

It's been a super long week and i'm very tired. And the thought of two more days of this is a little overwhelming. And the amount of work that i have to do it staggering. And the lengths that i'm willing to go to to avoid it are amazing. However, for now, i think i'll be sensible (in terms of my health and current sleep deprivation, not in terms of my study load...) and head off to bed. Another early morning tomorrow; i have to be up at 6.30! Really, that's just far to early to be ok. I just can't wait until friday afternoon when i can relax a little! But first, i have to get through a morning at the museum and an afternoon at the zoo!! Wish me luck... actually, just wish that more kids will turn up to KC and that i'll have the energy to stay awake!!

GRRRRRR!

I WANT TO BE AT THE CLIPSAL CONCERTS TONIGHT!!!

Pete Murray, Presets, Faker, Operator Please... I want to be there! I love those bands! But no. I'm sitting at home, eating a 'study snack' and failing to achieve much study. I really want to be at the concert! It was just that it was money i didn't have, time i shouldn't be wasting, energy i possibly wouldn't be able to expend and company that i couldn't find. But even with all of those reasons, i still wish that i were there! Or alternatively, i wish that i had super-hearing so that i could sit in my window seat and still be able to hear Pete Murray.

As for the study, i really would be getting somewhere, if i had any understanding about what i was reading about! I'm noting cases and don't know for the life of me what the outcome is! I get the general principle (i think...) but not the outcome. Stupid judges, who chose to use the most difficult, complicated, long-winded language possible, instead of writing in plain english that people would actually be able to understand!

I'm going to attempt to tear myself away from Friends and keep noting. I'll just ignore the fact that i don't know how this case ends up (it's almost as annoying as missing the last ten minutes of a movie!). Do you know what i'm going to do tomorrow? I'm going to work in the morning, i'm studying, and then i'm going back to work in the afternoon... I live such a wild life.

Ahem. Despite this rant, life doesn't totally suck this week. Just in case you were getting the wrong idea. Good things happened too! :) just none were study related.

Last night, 80 kids turned up at CitiBeach for our youth event. They all seemed to have an awesome time; it's amazing how they didn't get bored with three hours of hitting a ball back and forth over a net. Eventually, i had to join in... seeing as i was playing with a bunch of kids whose skill level was almost worse than mine, i didn't look too bad. I hit a few good shots, one fantastic one and had a few shockers! But it turned out to be lots of fun. I love the beach! Even when it's more of a sand-pit than a beach... but whatever. It was a good night!

Afterward, though i was so tired i could hardly walk straight (which i proved by walking into everyone a copious amount of times... oops...), English and i had another movie night. The stupid video shop that never has Pearl Harbour also doesn't have Jaws. It's a crappy video shop. We adjusted our plans, and watched Jurassic Park instead. Yay for dinosaurs!! I loooove those movies - except in the first one where the fat man gets eaten by the poison-spitting dinos... it's really depressing, so i hid my face in that one. I hate it when the unfortunate people get hurt; it's just not so bad if it's some good looking smart person - they've already had a good life. Question: If a triceratops loses one of its horns, does it become a diceratops? I vote no.

It was another late night, so by the time i got up for work in the morning i could hardly see straight. I started the shift with my usual diatribe about how i hate my job, want to sleep and HAVE to QUIT! Yet, three hours later, the desire to leave that hell hole has lessened slightly, as it always does. Yes, some of the children are annoying little pigs (who's parents really just need to put them on Ridlin), and some that kick the **** out of me (i'm permanently covered in bruises - and if i was a guy, i'd never be able to work again), and my boss it a bitch. But some of the parents are really nice, i don't really suck at my job, the cute fill-in guy was working next to me and actually talks to me these days (we even make jokes. Wow, progress), and some of the kids are adorable. One of my old kids, who's moved up, came by my lane to visit and was SO exccited to see me! My two Aidens are full of smiles and giggles. Little James is such a cutie, he'll give me a kiss goodbye and make all sorts of funny jokes. And Henry (my favourite) is a little cuddle ball of lovliness with a cheeky grin and huuuuge brown eyes. He's an angel. A few of the other kids are bearable and it's nice when they make progress. The ick factor just comes from a freezing pool, low pay, screaming kids, crap management, no loo breaks, lugging benches around and so on... Maybe i'll hold of quitting until i'm 20,because then my pay will go up! Although i think i said that last year too...

I was wiped this afternoon, so had some quality movie time. I watched Evan Almighty, which was actually nowhere near as bad as i thought it was and had the mother from Gilmore Girls in it (i love her). It was a funny movie, with a message that wasn't entirely corny. Even though it was exactly the same as another 'God told me to build an Ark' movie that i used to watch all the time as a kid, i still liked it. Steve Carrell was a hoot, but not in that stupid, cringe worthy way that drives me nuts. Yay!

Then i finally gave in and watched Death At A Funeral (another movie i thought i wouldn't like). But that was funny too! Even though there were a few too many poo references and such, i actually laughed out loud a few times. The dude from My Family and Love Actually (Colin?) is always good for a laugh, and the main character, Daniel, was really good too. I liked that there was actually a strong plot to the movie, that threw in a few twists and turns. It's quite a feat to make a movie that's more or less set in 'real time', yet still keep the plot moving very quickly. I really enjoyed it.

And now i'm attempting to study. Failing miserably, as you can see by the fact that i'm on my blog(and watching Friends from the beginning again), but still trying. Uni starts on monday, and i'm really not all that well prepared yet. In fact, i've read about three pages of readings... and probably have about 100 to read in total. Oops. Better get back to it...