Again

It's happened again. I have no idea how it works. Sometimes, little things set me off - at other times, the same things can happen and i don't even flinch. Last night, it was just a few little things, that added up to a foul mood, which carried over into today.

I went from a good mood at bowling to a mood where i felt like i was sitting in a cave and the lights were just a little too far away to be seen. Since then, i've moved a little closer to the entrance of my cave, but there's still a fair distance to go.

I was set off by a compliment that, in my usual warped way, i interpreted as a backhanded insult. An hour or so later and i was deep in my cave. I woke this morning feeling rather dodgy. I was cranky all day. And the bizzare thing? The reason that i was most annoyed was because i couldn't figure out why i was so upset. I mean, the circumstances that had put me into my mood could reasonably put me in a bad mood. But the mood i was in was making me feel like someone was kicking me in the stomach and i just wanted to cry, but couldn't.

I can't figure out why it's making me so crazy. However, even more than that, i just want it to all go away. So i stomped around all afternoon while mapping out a treasure hunt route, being cranky. By the time i got to church, i had to do that thing where i can't make it through a song without tearing up (though a few of the songs were quite meaningful tonight, which suprised me) and can't stand in a room with people without having to bail every five minutes to stand alone ourside and re-group. It didn't help that English and ShirtlessBuddy took the opportunity to lay into my singing. Lovely.

Now that i'm home, avoiding the huge pile of work that i have to do and eating easter eggs in search of comfort, i'm feeling pretty much the same, if not a little more numb. Not happy, but numb. Naturally, seeing as my thoughts are completely incoherent, this post reflects that and continues to add to the streak of apallingly written posts that i've created... which does little to improve the mood.

The point? I feel like crap. And i just thought that you should know. I'll let you know when it passes.