Not A Good Day

Today has royally sucked.

This morning was my psychology exam. I had looked through all the notes we had, and had a general knowledge of everything we had been taught. I was hoping that i'd be able to scrape through the essays and that the multiple choice questions wouldn't be too hard. When i got in there i found that i could write two pages of semi-reasonable answers for each of the essays (whether or not that will be enough i don't know...) but the multiple choice questions killed me. When i got home there was a note on the uni discussion board that said the answers to the multiple choice questions had been posted... i got 17 our of 40. The multiple choice questions were worth 30% of my final grade, so that means i got less than 15%... If the luck of the world is with me then maybe i'll scrape a pass in the overall topic. But when is the luck ever with me?

I don't want to fail and i don't want to repeat the topic. Failiure really doesn't sit well with me.

To add to that, i've still got another exam tomorrow, which we all have no idea what it contains. Sure, it's open book, but i'm probably just going to fail that too, because i suck.

Tonight i saw boyfriend for a few minutes before he packed off to Victor for Schoolies. He won't be back for a week and (pathetically) i already miss him. He makes me smile and everything pretty much sucks at the moment, so smiling is a major bonus.

Later...

I just got home from dance. Tonight we did these major dips, where the girls were dipped pretty much in half and scooped backwards. It looked a little something like this. But much less suave, of course...

It was no easy task! Unlike what it may look like, the men don't hold us up - we women have to swing ourselves and hold all of our weight, while completely off-balance. I'm fairly flexible, but i don't trust the guys in our class to keep us steady, so i was super tense... which made me look ridiculous. And it was really sweaty, which was super gross. BUT it was pretty intense, which kept my mind off missing boyfriend and failing at uni. Which was a nice bonus. El and i sang ridiculous songs at the top of our lungs all the way home, causing people in other cars to look at us very strangely, but that was fun too.

I'm so tired now, but i'm meant to keep studying for my exam tomorrow... so sleepy... but i'll do my best. And i have all day tomorrow to keep studying. Gee, life just isn't much fun at the moment! And i know i'm full of doom and gloom... but i'm sure things will brighten up sooner or later!

Bachata, Baby!

I am officially now an student of intermediate bachata, as i finished my beginners course tonight. The instructor said i was doing well, woo! Despite the fact that i somehow was moving my knees at double speed to my feet... still now sure how i managed that! Anyhoo, had it sorted by the end of class, so all good. I actually enjoyed today. Mainly we just put everything that we learnt together and danced properly for most of the time, which was so much fun. It was easier than usual, and we managed to incorporate our turns and spins and leads and everything. I even managed to follow the lead, which normally i struggle to do. It was awesome, and i had a blast. Dancing is so much more fun when i don't suck!

Next week we start the next block of classes. Intermediate traditional bachata. I'm looking foward to it (i think!), even though all of us beginners will be entering the class at the bottom of the heap and i can go back to looking a little bit silly as i fall over my feet. Still, i can't wait to improve some more and get some more confidence. Then maybe i'll be able to go out dancing for real and not feel like a moron :) Yay for dance classes!

Bachata!

Tonight, after a great deal of cajoling, bullying and more or less aggressive dragging, El took me along to a special session at her Latin dance school. She is learning Bachata (and Zouk and Salsa...), which is a kind of Latin, sexy, speedy, up-close-and-personal dance. Now, it's important to note my lack of co-ordination, aversion to dancing in public, fear of judgemental audiences and public failiure, and general hatred of mirrors. Needless to say, it was not an easy task getting me there. But i arrived on time, in my totally inappropriate dancing clothes, and joined the line of girls.

Tonight was an all-ladies occasion (thank goodness, because the idea of grinding up against a stranger just isn't appealing to me for some reason!), and we were focusing on style. The nice, gorgeous, flexible, gorgeous, amazing dancer lady who was leading our class taught us a few basic moves before we started to learn a little routine, called a 'shine'. Apparently, when we're dancing in pairs, the guy can spin us out on our own and that's our opportunity to get all sexy and dance on our own - and 'shine'!

I eventually got my butt moving in a figure eight and my hip popping on the right side. The shine wasn't all that difficult to the untrained eye, but naturally, the speed threw me off balance and i generally skipped a step (ok, and i always stuffed up the quick step, because my feet couldn't move that fast!). Don't even get me started on my ineptitude for body rolls... By the end of the hour long class, i wouldn't say that i had the routine down, but i could struggle through it.

Now, i wasn't an embarassment to myself. But the other girls in the class seemed to have more of an idea about how to move their bodies than i did, or more dancing experience, which put me at a disadvantage. Add that to the fact that facing a full length mirror for an hour watching my body (ew) attempt to dance (cringe) and i think i did fairly well overall. Although i suck at dancing sexily. I don't think i could exude sex if you paid me. Which is good i suppose, because i'll never be tempted into being a hooker or a stripper if i'm broke.

El is dying for me to turn up next week for the first session of the six week beginners class. I'm not sure i can subject myself to it (or afford it!!), but we'll see. I'm balancing the desire to know how to dance with the desire not to damage my fragile self esteem. I kind of enjoyed the dancing tonight, but the self-esteem issue that made me feel like i looked actually ridiculous had me very nervous... i'll work on it. There's another friend of El's that she dragged along tonight, who seems keen to do the beginner's classes. While she's a better dancer than me, it's good to know that i'd at least have one friend!! (El is already in the intermediate class, having finished the first six weeks). I know that people are keen for me to go and i always have so much trouvle saying no!! And it's only six weeks...

Other than that, i'm pretty keen on trying yoga or some other kind of dancing. El and i think swing would be fun, or classical. Maybe i'll look into them. The idea of classes appeals to me - i like improving myself and being accomplished at things.

Who knows, maybe i'll get into Bachata and be sexy dancing in the clubs of Adelaide in no time at all... keep an eye out for that!