When I Grow Up I Want To Be A Writer

Ever since i was a child of five, i've wanted to be a writer. It's as simple as that.

When i was a little kid, i always wrote silly little stories, with accompanying pictures. No doubt they were hopeless (at least the drawings were!), but i wrote them nonetheless. As i got older, it was short stories and poems. Countless notebooks were filled with half-formed story ideas. In year ten, i wrote a 'novel' for my huge all-year project. I pulled off the debate speeches that impressed people. Year twelve had the witty orals and clever prose pieces. I had it covered.

So writing has always been around. But around year nine, reality decided that it wanted to make things difficult. There's not much mulah in being a writer - unless you're REALLY good, which i decided i wasn't. So i started looking for the back-up career. I settled on law. Or maybe psychology. Or counselling. I want to help people somehow... but i don't know how.

Do you know what my favourite therapy is? Curling up with a good book. Where everything turns out ok, despite all of the crap that happens to the protagonist throught the course of the novel. For some (completely irrational) reason, it makes me think that everything in reality will turn out ok. I want to be able to write books that can help people feel better, even if it just lets them escape for awhile.

I still love to write. And (though my rambling blog may not be proof of this), i'm not a bad writer. People have told me so, i'm not just being big-headed. I can just zone myself out, write flat out and end up with something reasonable. My problem lately is that reality gets in the way of writing - i'll start a piece and it will become inorexably intertwined with reality and become a huge mess. I have trouble distancing myself from my writing. So i just put it off, and put it off some more, until it's been months since i've written anything worthwhile.

Recently, i've changed my mind about things. I don't think i care whether i'll make much money. I don't really mind if i have to write on the side of another job. I like writing. It's therapy. I'm going to start writing again, i'm going to find a topic that i can write on, even if it's just as a hobby - for now.

Because, one way or another, when i grow up i will be a writer.

Annabel