Three Little Words

Have you ever just wanted to say those three little words to someone? No, not 'i love you', but rather 'i miss you'. In my opinion, if you can say 'i miss you' to someone that you care about, it's much easier to tell them that you love them. You've already reached a certain point of comfort in the relationship, where you feel able to share things. So, in my books at least, saying that i miss someone is harder.

When i was away, i didn't miss my family (yes, i love them, but i can survive without seeing them everyday), but i did miss my friends, the people that make up my routine. I did tell people that i missed them - but that seems like an assumption. So it was easier to say it. And people say it back. It's like a dance; we all know the moves. Someone goes away, people say they missed them, you say it back. Easy. There's less emotion invested than there would be if i baldly went up to one of my friends who i didn't see too often and said; 'i miss you'.

Lately, i've noticed that there are quite a few people who i miss. I fall into routines and i hate change, so when people fall off the face of my planet, i miss them achingly. At the moment, these people are still in my life, but there's a certain *distance*, which i supremely dislike. But i just can't bring myself to say 'i miss you'.

Whether it's the chance of being rejected (nothing could be worse than an awkward pause that says 'well... i don't really miss you... but thanks, i guess'), or simply just pure terror at the thought of letting someone know what i'm really thinking, i don't know. But i can't say it.

I can't tell my girlfriends that i miss our girls-only nights that went way into the wee hours of the morning, when we never ran out of things to say to each other and never stopped having things to laugh about. I can't tell my guyfriends that i miss hanging out with them, just miss laughing and teasing each other and mucking around. I can't tell them that the face that i haven't spoken to them, haven't felt comfortable round them in far too long, means that i miss them terribly.

I'm working on it (at least i'm thinking about it). Yep, i miss them. Either i tell them so, and do something about it. Otherwise, i can think about why i miss them, think about whether i should miss them, and maybe stop missing them. So there's my plan of action.

But either way. I think that 'i miss you' would be up there on the list of the three hardest things to say.

Annabel