Blood Ties

The funeral was beautiful. Very simple, it was just at the funeral home, which was gorgeous. Gran's two sons (my dad and uncle) gave short speeches. Philips was all about Gran growing up - there was so much i never knew; i didn't know that the family crest was the willow tree and that it could be traced back to the 1000's, i didn't know that only Philip remembered things from when they used to live in Bordertown, i didn't know that Gran kept fresh flowers by Penny's (my aunt) picture all throughout her cancer and until she died a few years ago. Dad talked too. About the memories that he'd had of Gran as a child, some funny anecdote's about Penny's husband Ian getting drunk at their engagement party, about their crazy white cat named 'puss', about their schooling. About how Kirsty inherited her dad's inability to spell, that didn't come from Gran. I was so proud of dad - he made it all the way to the end of his speech before he broke down in tears. It was heart wrenching, seeing him so sad.

It wasn't so much what was being said at the funeral that made it emotional, so much as the level of emotion and sorrow that was clearly visible on the faces of those around us. My cousin, Kirsty, cried as she spoke. Cousin David was emotional and my sister, Catherine, cried throughout. I did my reading, a poem, and looked out upon many a teary eye. Even my nan on my mother's side was sad.

We had a minute's silence for Gran. It was then that i wracked my brains to remember her as far back as i could. My brother and i are the youngest of the grandchildren by 15 years or so - all her children are older and it's only because mum is dad's second wife that we're so young. All the older cousins and my older brother and sister have many more memories of Gran as a friend and being much more involved. These older set are also much closer to each other, which is something that i envy somewhat. But, stretching my memory back, i remembered snatched of the past.

I remember how exciting it was to trek down to the basement of their old house. I remember that there were fruit trees in the back yard of some kind. I remember a winding garden path. I remember the big frigde that is now in our back shed. Later, i remember picking lemons from the backyard of their new house. I remember having raced in the washing basket, hurtling along on the little trolley until Grandpa caught us. I remember that Gran used to let me pick out a pretty ribbon everytime that i visited, from the ribbon drawer. I remember walks in the park near her. I remember Grandpa getting sicker and sicker and dying. I remember family visits and lots and lots of lunches at Yum Cha restaurants. I remember never knowing why my grandpa's name was kenneth david krantz, but that everyone called him peter.

In a family that is usually so stoic when it comes to emotion, it was hard seeing everyone so upset. When the family came back to our house after the service and the wake, everyone relished being together. We read the will and the girls got the jewellery that was left to them, then got to pick some of the other pieces that they liked. I was left two beautiful sapphire rings and picked some others that i'll no doubt wear often. The older girls were left her two ensigna rings and felt a great connectedness, both to each other and to Gran.

It was a good day, considering. The family all got on, there were no fights or tension between the people that usually argue. Even i began to feel comfortable with Kirsty and Catherine. It was good. I think Gran would have liked the way that everyone said goodbye. Death is a natural part of life and the sorrow that it causes is never fully erased. But, hopefully, farewells like today's can lessen the pain a little and make things a little more bearable. At least, i hope that's the case, for dad's sake.

One more family dinner in a little while, and then everyone will scatter back to their respective corners of australia; queensland, sydney, melbourne, adelaide... in a way, it was a blessing to be brought together and i think we all recognised that.

Annie