It's no secret that i'm a little bit crazy. Not in the wear-a-plastic-bag-and-start-eating-food-from-a-garbage-bin kind of crazy. More like the something-good-finally-happens-and-i'm-so-freaked-out-that-i-might-wreck-it kind of crazy. Or maybe the i-have-so-much-work-to-do-but-i'm-not-actually-doing-it kind of crazy. I'm simultaneously stressing about everything that's going on, and too tired/chilled to actually do anything. Damned lack of motivation.
I've spent a few days doing little jobs, running around after some church boys and their computers, even getting a little study done. Just not enough. Last night was the first night i'd had more than eight hours sleep in over a week, yet today i'm still totally wiped. Maybe it's because today's also the first day i haven't been running around all day doing odd jobs. In fact, i've spent the morning reading, watching One Tree Hill and looking at my study sitting next to me. Soon, i'm off to uni to get a new student ID (did i tell you that my wallet was lost/stolen? I'm having to replace all of my cards and it's a pain in the butt), and then catching up with LozK at Marion... it's really hard to shop without access to my bank account! I suppose i can look at that as a good thing.
As for my new permanent state of freak-out, it's seemingly unavoidable, and try as i might i can't get it under control. I think it might be an irrational fear - but maybe it's not? Maybe i'm doing the wrong thing? Maybe i'm falling for someone else's mistake? Maybe this is all going to end in disaster. Maybe i should calm down. Maybe it's all going to work out really well and make me really happy? Who knows. I sure as hell don't. Welcome to the world of crazy drama in my head. It's no end of fun.
Anyway, i'm off to shower and hit up marion... maybe i can find some money somewhere. And then home to study study study until the wee hours of the morning. I'm actually looking forward to it - it's going to be awesome when i actually achieve something!!
I've spent a few days doing little jobs, running around after some church boys and their computers, even getting a little study done. Just not enough. Last night was the first night i'd had more than eight hours sleep in over a week, yet today i'm still totally wiped. Maybe it's because today's also the first day i haven't been running around all day doing odd jobs. In fact, i've spent the morning reading, watching One Tree Hill and looking at my study sitting next to me. Soon, i'm off to uni to get a new student ID (did i tell you that my wallet was lost/stolen? I'm having to replace all of my cards and it's a pain in the butt), and then catching up with LozK at Marion... it's really hard to shop without access to my bank account! I suppose i can look at that as a good thing.
As for my new permanent state of freak-out, it's seemingly unavoidable, and try as i might i can't get it under control. I think it might be an irrational fear - but maybe it's not? Maybe i'm doing the wrong thing? Maybe i'm falling for someone else's mistake? Maybe this is all going to end in disaster. Maybe i should calm down. Maybe it's all going to work out really well and make me really happy? Who knows. I sure as hell don't. Welcome to the world of crazy drama in my head. It's no end of fun.
Anyway, i'm off to shower and hit up marion... maybe i can find some money somewhere. And then home to study study study until the wee hours of the morning. I'm actually looking forward to it - it's going to be awesome when i actually achieve something!!
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