New Find

I've found a new, random website. This one is full of people's biggest regrets. It's called 'Second Chances' (check out: Second Chance Online)... people share what they wish they had done differently. Not only does sharing a regret make it seem less crippling, but it reminds everyone else about the important things in life. Here are a few of the most poignant regrets of late...

December 7th

If I could change one thing, I never would have met you. I swear, there are very few things I wouldn't give to just take back every moment and effort I wasted on you. I wish it was easier to let go...people tell me to just walk away and wash my hands and my mind of you...but I'm not that tough.

People tell me I'm better than you (those select few who know about "us", do, anyway) and I want so badly to act on that. I never want to see you, be around you or even hear about you, ever again.

For the past 4 years, you have done nothing but ruin me...and I allow you to do it. Over and over again. You have a hold on me like no person or thing ever has, before. I hate how I know in my otherwise brilliant mind that you are awful...horrible...destructive...

But I can't seem to ever shake you, for good. as many times as I've tried and successfully walked away for a while, it never lasts. My efforts against you are useless.

You're killing me.

I hate you, cocaine.

Female, 23

December 6th

I regret nothing yet I regret everything. I regret everything I have ever done with you. I regret the day I met you. the day I fell in love with you. The days I sat there listening to you go on about the girls you like, the days you went on about your life. I regret letting you become my best friend. I regret not taking my chance and chaning the relationship we have. I regret being scared of telling you everything. Yet I know you will understand. I want to just walk up to you one day, and kiss you. Not one of those baby pecks on the lips, I want the Noah and Ali kiss in the rain during the Notebook. Your the best thing that ever happened to me. When I'm with you, I'm so comfortable, your my everything, yet I'm your nothing. I regret letting my self fall for you so hard. I have crashed and burned to the ground now, and I'm totally broken up about you. You were the one to keep me going at my weakest point yet you were the one that brought me there. I regret not leaving you when I had the chance, I regret not wanting to move on from you.

I don't regret our friendship.

I just regret it not becoming more than just that.

16. female

December 4th

If I could change one thing, I would go back and never, ever let them pull the plug on you. I've done research, and doctors say that chances of waking up from a coma only start to go down after a month or two. You were only in the hospital for a week. I know I was only thirteen, but I was your only daughter, and if I had said no I'm sure they wouldn't have done it. I miss you so much, Mom. Every day. I'll regret what I did to you until the day I die.

female, 19

December 3rd

I used to think that my biggest regret was being born. So many days go by and I just want to end my existance.But I think that may just be my problem, I exist. I don't live. And that is my biggest regret.

November 30th

I regret loving you.
I regret allowing you into the deepest region of my soul.
I regret giving myself to you 100%.
I regret accepting the lies, the constant lies, even when I KNEW they were lies.
I regret making excuse after excuse for you, to myself and to others.
I regret ever letting you break down that wall I had managed to build around me that kept me safe.
I regret believing you when you said you'd never hurt me.
But most of all....I regret that you didn't love me as much as I loved you.

November 26th

I regret never having a voice in my family. I regret seeing my family fall apart. I regret ever trusting people. I regret the biggest thing in my life. I regret ever picking up blades, pins, knives and just sliding it across my wrist, arms, legs, body. I regret liking it. I regret speaking, because whatever I do, is never good enough. And I will never be good enough.

I've never experienced happiness after the age of 9. That's when I was still innocent. I don't fall in love; it's simply impossible. I don't like my friends, for they down my mood. I hate how I'm constantly smiling, and no one can see how much I need f'ing help in the inside. I'm tired of the fakes in my school. The only real people I can trust are the ones that don't know me in real life, and even they don't know how I'm going through all this shit inside. I hate myself because I don't even have problems like some people, but my emotions run wild. My parents are always busy with work. My siblings are old enough to live on their own. I'm alone. How do I possibly tell them that I'm not ... heterosexual? How do I possibly confess to ANYONE that I have scars all over my body? How do I possibly trust anyone? How do I possibly find a peace of mind?

I want a second chance in life, just to start all over.

November 20th

If I had a second chance, I would have never let those words past my lips. I would NEVER have said "I hate you!"

And if I couldn't change it. If those words flew out of anger anyway, I would have chased after you. Begged you to forgive me. Taken those words back before you were taken from me.
You were so young when you died. I was young, too. But that doesn't excuse those three words. It doesn't make up for letting you leave, still upset.

If I could change it, maybe I could have lived my life the way you hoped I would. Maybe I would be a better person. Maybe I would have never become an addict.

Maybe you would have died that night anyway. But maybe, just maybe, if I hadn't let those words be the last thing I said to you, I could learn to love myself even without you in my life.
I miss you so much.

And I'm so sorry.

f/20

November 26th

If I had the chance to do one thing differently in my life I would have taken my cell phone with me that night. I was the last person you tried to call before you killed yourself and I didn’t even have my phone with me. I am sorrier than you will ever know. I think about it a lot, even though it has been years. You needed me. I was your youth pastor and I never saw it. What did I miss? Were there signs? Why? You were beautiful, you were thirteen, and you had the whole world at your feet. Maybe there isn’t anything I could have said or done to change the outcome, but I could have answered my phone. The world is a different place without you. My world is a different place without you. And for the record, I don’t think I have left my house with out my cell phone since that night. I know all the regret, sorrow, and precautions, won’t bring you back. But please know this…I am sorry, I do love you, and you are dearly missed. F/25

November 10th

If I had a second chance to do ONE thing differently in my life, I would've manned up and had the balls to ask you on a date. I wouldn'tve taken the easy path and just gotten to be friends, and gotten to the point where we're close enough it'd be too weird to ask. I wouldnt've been afraid that you didn't like me that way, or that it would ruin a friendship we already had. I wouldnt've been afraid of what my friends would have said about you - screw them. I wouldnt've asked your friend to homecoming instead of you. I would've changed my mind and asked you instead when I realized I made a mistake, and when there was still time to.

The thing is, I think I still have a chance. but I AM too afraid still. I don't really know why else I keep making you think I only want to be friends.

Male, 17