Kids Club has come to an end... as usual, i've got that peculiar feeling; a mix of sadness, because i'll miss the kids, and happiness, because i can finally relax a little.
The kids are great - i love their smiley little faces, i love looking after them, i don't even mind when they're whining and annoying me. And i liked parts of today - playing on the bouncy pillow, having shirtless buddy teach me (somewhat successfully) how to somersault properly on it, walking in the rain... However, i won't miss the rest of it. The struggle to be there by 8am, the tough job of getting a bunch of teenagers to listen to me when they just see me as a peer and not a leader, feeling the responsibility of *thirty kids+their safety+their parents' expectations+the opinions of the leaders when they see my mistakes* on my shoulders... it's lots to handle. Kids Club wasn't overflowing in numbers this holidays, so most of the week was spent talking about ways to make it better, and wondering what the kids don't like (which, of course, makes me feel every single one of my shortcomings, and blame the lack of numbers on the way that i run things, even though that's a little irrational). It was a hard week, not just because of kids club, but because of all the work i had - and failed - to do, as well as everything else i had to deal with. Turning up everyday to put on a calm, in control face was a battle that i didn't quite win. I just needed someone to talk to, who i could trust, but i couldn't quite pull it.
Now, i'm sitting here, watching OC/One Tree Hill/90210/Gossip Girl, drinking tea and eating pizza shapes, avoiding all my stuuuuupid homework and planning to go to bed and read soon. My brain feels like it's wrapped in cotton wool and my arms feel like lead while i'm typing. It's the end of the holidays and i'm less rested than when i started. The two big assignments i have due next week are stressing me out. Nobody will be around this next week, so i'm going to be stuck stewing with my books, my computer and my meagre amount of money burning a hole in my pocket. Clearly, i have big plans.
Let's just say that 'cheery' isn't my default setting this week, so give me a few days and we'll see where i'm at. Six months until the next kids club.
The kids are great - i love their smiley little faces, i love looking after them, i don't even mind when they're whining and annoying me. And i liked parts of today - playing on the bouncy pillow, having shirtless buddy teach me (somewhat successfully) how to somersault properly on it, walking in the rain... However, i won't miss the rest of it. The struggle to be there by 8am, the tough job of getting a bunch of teenagers to listen to me when they just see me as a peer and not a leader, feeling the responsibility of *thirty kids+their safety+their parents' expectations+the opinions of the leaders when they see my mistakes* on my shoulders... it's lots to handle. Kids Club wasn't overflowing in numbers this holidays, so most of the week was spent talking about ways to make it better, and wondering what the kids don't like (which, of course, makes me feel every single one of my shortcomings, and blame the lack of numbers on the way that i run things, even though that's a little irrational). It was a hard week, not just because of kids club, but because of all the work i had - and failed - to do, as well as everything else i had to deal with. Turning up everyday to put on a calm, in control face was a battle that i didn't quite win. I just needed someone to talk to, who i could trust, but i couldn't quite pull it.
Now, i'm sitting here, watching OC/One Tree Hill/90210/Gossip Girl, drinking tea and eating pizza shapes, avoiding all my stuuuuupid homework and planning to go to bed and read soon. My brain feels like it's wrapped in cotton wool and my arms feel like lead while i'm typing. It's the end of the holidays and i'm less rested than when i started. The two big assignments i have due next week are stressing me out. Nobody will be around this next week, so i'm going to be stuck stewing with my books, my computer and my meagre amount of money burning a hole in my pocket. Clearly, i have big plans.
Let's just say that 'cheery' isn't my default setting this week, so give me a few days and we'll see where i'm at. Six months until the next kids club.
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