Random Thoughts

Here's What's In My Head

It's too hot to wear jeans. And i don't like shorts. Unfortunately, this means i have to wear skirts... ew. However, people have started making those comments again; 'wow, look at you! you look like a girl!' - apparently it's an event worthy of the news when i look half decent... but i guess it's a compliment, so i'll take it that way.

It worries me how possessive i am of my 'people'. I like people to be single so that i don't have to share them with anyone. Yes, it's childish and selfish. While i'm happy that they're happy, i worry that it means that they're going to leave me (i am basing this on history, so i'm not unduly paranoid). I'm working on it. In the meantime, i'm interested in watching how the dynamics of people around me change as they pair up. It's quite an experiment.

I caught up with a somewhat estranged friend yesterday. I had missed her, so i wanted so much to be able to step back into our old ways. So i picked up conversations where we'd left them off, talked like we'd never do it again and kept my emotions behind the same screen which tried to prevent me saying things i later regret (with limited success). On the whole, it went better than i'd expected it to. Maybe things will start going back to normal now, slowly.

The girls and i were discussing our 'types' again. Apparently, my 'type' is still unattainable, unavailable and unhealthy (haha, there is documented evidence that supports this - though it has meant that i'm really good at defending people and being friends with people that i've had a thing for). Apparently, i am the type who as people aged 15 to 17 following me around and apparently is better suited to people with heads shaped like pumpkins or who look like mushrooms... i'm not thrilled by this.

I bought new dresses today (instead of studying for my exam tomorrow... hmm). They cost $20 and were impulse buys, to some degree. One is dressy, bright pink and very un-me. The other is white, girly, floaty and very un-me. I can at least work with the first one - though i will need people to tell me i look good a few times before i can breathe.

SaviourDave is lovely. Truly. Yesterday, i got more than my share of hugs. He said he'd be my date to the marriage of MarriedMan (where he will truly earn his name). And, in a fit of emotional drama, i threw a glass of water over LittleM - just like in the movies. It was so much fun! Haha, even though he chased me round the kitchen after and got me in a bear hug... too much affection for me and my no touching ways :P It amuses me that i'm still his go-to girl, despire the girlfriend. Yay!

Loz and i went shopping for wedding pressies today - it was hard! We had our registry list clutched in our hands like a life jacket while we wandered the store, getting lost and confused amid crockery, linens and gadgets. We finally picked some out. But the decisions didn't end there; we had to choose whether we wanted them wraped or not, delivered or not, whether they were exactly from the list or not... phew! But fun.

I'm screwed for my exam tomorrow but am yet to completely terrify myself about failing... hmm... i should go do that... 16 hours until FREEDOM!

I had another random thought to share, but i've forgotten it, which is really annoying me! So i'll have to love you and leave you without it. Your loss, i'm sure.

Annie