Something's Up With The Cosmos

Time To Do Something About That Stick Factory

Stick factory, you ask? What stick factory? Well, it's fairly self explainatory. It's a factory that makes sticks. Simple. The troublesome factor arises when one looks at what the sticks are being mass-produced FOR and therein lies the problem.

Have you ever noticed that, more often that not, it seems that the people that you like don't like you and the people that like you are people that you don't like? Sure, they're nice enough but they're just friends - there's no SPARK! As much as you try and convince yourself otherwise, you just can't do it. Of couse, this is coming from the perspective of a single person - obviously, if you're actually in a relationship, you've managed to become an exception to that rule. And, yes, i do realise that there are lots of exceptions out there.

Where do these sticks come into things? Well, they've become the metaphorical object of choice that is used to fend off these unwanted advances. Sleek lines, unisex, in a wonderful range of colours, a nice little soft pad on the end so that you don't hurt the reciever... they're becoming increasingly popular across the globe. It's so much less painful than the boot up the behind yet less subtle than the soft brush brush-off. Perfect medium.

Problem? The guy who's in charge of the cosmos. Not sure who he is (obviously he's male - a girl wouldn't run things like that), but he's driving me slightly nuts. He's got somewhat skewed views on how to do things. On the one hand, life is like Noah's Ark and i'm the lone Dodo who's sitting on the bow of the boat (or is it the stern?). On the other, it just seems like nobody can get their act together and we're all just a bunch of Dodos.

I think maybe the Cosmos-dude is running the stick factory - it'd be an abolute goldmine. Trust a guy to turn people's lives into a money making adventure. I think BriSki has the right idea - cut straight to the source and destroy the stick factory. That'd put a spoke in Mr. Cosmos' wheels. We're thinking that burning is the best way to go. Those sticks, they'd go up like rockets.

Personally, i think it's a plan. So, next time you see me, if i'm headed out with kerosene, rags and matches, you'll know where i'm headed. Feel free to come along with me. That'll teach the Cosmos-meister his dues.

Annie