Recapture My Youth?

Who Says It's In Need Of Capture?

It occured to me in the last few days that, in so many aspects, i'm such a child. There are so many aspects of my personality that are somewhat childlike. Granted, on the one hand, i can be mature and there's a cynicism in my personality that belies my years. I'm not so unrealistic that i am holding hands with the happy-go-lucky charm that resides in the personality of four-year olds. However, on the other hand, there is the part of me that is hopelessly optimistic and forever dreaming. I'm not saying that i AM childish - i'm just saying that i can be.

It's not just the obvious things; i loooooove cartoons, whether they be Disney flicks like Finding Nemo, Madagascar and Happy Feet, or japanese anime in any form, from Poke'mon to Fruits Basket. Love them. Not to mention kids movies - High School Musical, She's The Man, Mighty Ducks... i find them charming. I still have teddy bears scattered around in my room and can occassionally be found colouring in. You may laugh, but i find it relaxing! Plus, i like making the colours look pretty :p I still have friends to sleepover. Apparently, that's incredibly seventh grade. Meh. Not only is it easier but it can be fun. I watch kids television. I love playgrounds. I pick flowers and put them in my hair. I dance around, jump around, sing to myself, bounce on my heels, when i'm happy. I own Saddle Club cds. Sometimes i bite my nails. I have a collection of cows in my window box. Need i go on?

But it's not just the little things. I'm innocent and naieve in so many ways that people my age aren't. Their crude jokes go over my head, do not appeal to my sense of humour... i maintain an undying belief that everything will work out ok in the end. Not just my life, but for the whole world. That the global warming issues and such will just get better. I'm completely unrealistic. I have eyes that get wide in the face of adversity. I'm scared of people that i don't know - just like a child who gets lost in a supermarket and is terrified until they find that one pair of legs that they recognise. I maintain a belief that everyone has some good in them somewhere, and continue to search for it, no matter how naieve that viewpoint may be. It's not entirely sensible. But i can't help it. It's just that side of me.

Am i alone in the fact that i have a tight hold on some parts of my childhood? Or do you find the same thing? Hopefully, i never become so jaded as to lose sight of all of the soft things in life.

Annie