Needed? Or Wanted?

A Fine Line

New train of thought; i'm pondering the difference between want and need. It's one thing to be needed. Being needed makes you feel loved, because, if it weren't for you, things wouldn't be done the same way. At the moment, there are a few places when i'm needed, simply because i am the only girl that is on call on friday and saturday nights. I like it - like i said, makes me feel loved.

However, being WANTED is completely different. For example, if i were wanted, it would make me feel like people actually wanted me around. It would prove that i wasn't just a convenience thing, that i wasn't just around because there was nobody better. Does that make some kind of sense? So, i want to be wanted.

Problem? Well, as i said, at the moment i'm needed. But, now there are a whole bunch of other people who are around, just as good, if not better, at what i was doing. They're great people, reeeally nice and pretty and smart and talented, i like them lots... however, now that i'm not needed, i'm only going to be around when i'm wanted.

Still not seem like an issue? Well, here's the thing; i'm just worried that i'm going to find out that i'm NOT wanted. That these new girls will just step in and i'll be 'replaced' (yes, ok, so that's slightly dramatic, but still...). What if, in the place that i spend a majority of my time and am usually the happiest, i'm no longer needed, not really wanted and just faaaaaade away? I think i could be the fade-away type of person.

Basically, i'm just worried (in my typical, irrational train of thought way) that i'm going to find out that i'm not really wanted. Maybe the people that i thought were sort of my friends actually aren't and i'm just around them lots because i was needed?

Gah! I hate my over-analysing brain. Stupid brain. I just don't want to be unwanted... but at least i have my blog! I guess that's a start.

Annie