Metaphors Unpacked

Explaining Our Crazy Ways...

It seems that my group of mates tends to have a metaphor for every aspect of life. Now, if i do say so myself, some of them aren't too shabby. On the other hand, there are some terrible ones, that make veeeeery little sense! But either way, they're good fun. For the benefit of all you people out there who listen to our conversations but just can't catch on when you hear words or phrases like 'aardvark' and 'his ducks', or hear us mumbling about 'boys in bubbles', 'wall moments' or 'the little men in our heads', this post is for you.

Metaphor #1: THE INVISIBLE WALL

Ok, this one is fairly simple. An invisible wall is one that is up between you and the guy of your affections. Generally, the wall is visible to you, but he can't really see it. This wall means that he tends to ignore you when you're around each other, even if he happens to be standing right next to you. Occasionally, when the wall is particularly bad, you can even be leant on, having been mistaken for the wall iteself. This, while uncommon, is one of the more terrible results of the invisible wall. Should you be rather short and he be rather tall, it is not impossible for the wall to be a mere fence... however, the height different means that the effects are pretty much the same. The solution to this problem? There isn't a definate one as of yet. However, a few girls have been successful in finding the door in the wall/gate in the fence and are living happily ever after!

Metaphor #2: THE DUCKS

The Duck metaphor is a rather confusing one... i'll try to explain but i make no promises that you'll have any idea what i'm talking about! Basically, the concept is that everyone is a 'mother' duck and has three ducklings following along behind them. The three ducklings are guys who adore you and trail around after you (like ducklings, hence the metaphor), following you wherever you go. These ducklings are yours to have and to hold, blah blah blah. However, while being the 'mother' of these ducklings (eg, in control), you are also a duckling to other people that you like. You can be a duckling to as many people as you like at one time, but usually three is enough. Following that logic, a person CAN have more than three ducklings, but they are usually able to distinguish the three most prominent. Now, the time that this works well is when you are someone's duckling and they are yours. This generally ends in you two pairing up. Things get more complicated when you are someone's duckling but they are someone else's (often who just happens to be your friend, to make things more complex :P). Does that make sense? Anyway, that's how the duck thing works!

Metaphor #3: SOAP OPERA LIVES

It has been decided that our lives have an astounding number of similarities to Soap Operas. There are a number of unrealistics plot lines, catastrophic embarassments and classic love stories. Plus, there is the ever lasting hope that our lives will turn out as nicely as the lives of the characters in soaps; all of those happy endings! One of our friends even got a role on a soapie recently!! You know who i mean girls... *gotta love those PVC pants...* Now, this isn't just a random conclusion to come to. It's based on evidence - for example, we have never ending amounts of drama and trauma, often with the outrageous hilarity that is synonomous with teenage charatcers in soaps! There's the tale of forbidden love between the older and younger guy, the usual unrequited loves, the golden boy's fall to druggie, the perfect couple being torn apart by an aeroplane (in a round about way) and the ever-present embarassment that is life (especially mine!). Sound overly dramatic? Well, isn't that what soaps are all about?!?

Metaphor #4: THE GYM MAT

The gym mat was a metaphor to represent the ickyness of any thought relating to certain guys who've been initiating the dreaded 'wall moments' (remember those?). Gym mats are dirty and crusty, nobody's idea of a nice place to be. The term 'gym mat' is generally shouted out whenever one of your closest friends can see you 'walling' and wants to remind you of the foulness of the guy in question. It works!... Most of the time...

Ok, they're all the metaphors that i can think of at the moment! But i'm sure i'll have more to update your knowledge of teenage life sooner or later!

Au revoir mon amies! I'm off to watch 'Neighbours'!

XX