Can Life Get Any Better?

In case you didn't notice, i'm being sarcastic...

Wow, life's swell. You can pretty much divide life into sections. For me, there's 'Family', 'Friends', 'Guys', 'School' and 'Church'. Right now? EVERY SINGLE ONE of these areas sucks. (Yes, the remainder of this post is going to be along these lines, so if you don't want to listen to my woes, stop reading). People ask me 'what's wrong?' and either they'll get a 'nothing' or, if they're lucky, they might get some tiny little tidbit of information as to what is making my eyes fill with tears or a sudden burst of impatience. But the tidbit they were given? Generally, it's not just some melodramatic thing that they can tell me is in my imagination, that i'm over-reacting to. So, nobody wants to deal with it and it never comes up again. Meanwhile, every one of those little tidbits and so much more is swilling around in my head, building up and making me sadder and sadder on the inside every day. Now, i have more days where i'm tired, unhappy and angry than there are days where i'm happy, laughing and fun to be with. I hate it, i'm sure you don't love it all that much either and i don't know what to do about it.

I can't control much about my family or my friends. As for schoolwork, the 'real' world and church stuff, that is so hard to deal with that i just can't manage it. Thinking about it makes my brain come close to implosion. So, that leaves just the one area that i have any control over, that i have any input into, that i have a chance of getting something good from, that might make everything else better. However, apparently, i can't even do that anymore.

One of my friends, whom i adore, just told me, after some pursuasion, exactly what he thought about me as a girl. Now, what he said cut, but i'm not mad at him, because i know he told me the truth, just like i asked him too. So, here's the opinion, in terms of whether or not i can get guys;

"No, because the media says that, to get laid, you have to dress and act sexy, but you don't. However, yes, because you're nice, caring and you have a good heart."

On the one hand, he's a darling because he was so sweet about it. But, when you look at it realistically, it doesn't help me much. Who cares if i'm nice? All people really care about these days is how things are on the outside. So, i'm screwed. And there goes the last remaining area of life in which i had any control.

So, next time one of my awful moods appears? I'm sorry. But i can't help it. So, don't yell at me, ok? I'll try not to be too annoying, i promise.