Failiure: the Non-Presence of Success

My Life with the Non-Presence of Success

Yea, yea, so maybe i sound melodramatic. But i'm definately in one of those moods. And i can give you evidence of that being how things are! So hear me out before you call me on that statement :P

GETTING A JOB

This, apparently, is something that i am just unable to do. Why?? No idea. Have i just sat back on my ass and expected jobs to fall into my lap? Surprisingly, no! I applied at Coles/Myer quite early, pleased with my organisation. I applied at Subway. Nothing. NOTHING. I am qualified and smart and good for the job. But apparently not in their eyes. But ok. I could deal with that. Because it's just probably luck of the draw - the non-presence of success. However, the bit that's getting my goat is this; one of my friends applied for a job and got an interview THE NEXT DAY, whereas i simply sat in their applicant pool, gathering dust. Another friend of mine has applied for the same job as me, is no more qualified, but it so much more likley to get the job because her family has connections there. And i'm happy for them... but they don't need the jobs! Their parents will pay for them to do whatever they like - i have to pay for everything. So, naturally, they get the jobs, i... well, i don't.

THAT RETARDED SPECIES

Yes, them again - i swear, they are at the root of all evil... unless the evil is a woman, but that is a rareity these days, let me tell you. Now, here, i'm not failiure, per se. The thing is that there is just a definate lack of success in this area. Now, knowing that my blog is rather widely read among my mates (hehe, i feel slightly loved there -- perhaps i have a singular area of semi-success?), i won't go into much detail here. But let's just say that, in my eyes at least - AND FOR PITY'S SAKE, THEY ARE THE ONES THAT COUNT SO DON'T TELL ME THAT I'M BEING SILLY - i have NO success whatsoever and i am feeling rather pathetic about it at the moment (as is no doubt obvious). Things aren't helped by the constant comments which do nothing to dissuade me of my opinions; 'it's fine, don't worry about it - one day you'll understand that it's no big deal. Trust me, i used to think like you do, before.' I mean, come on - HOW IS THAT KIND OF STATEMENT MEANT TO BE HELPFUL?!?

YEAR 12

Yes, the dreaded Year 12 raises it's ugly head. Here, again, there is minimal failiure (we won't look too closely at accounting or maths, ok?) - however, there is definate lacking of success. And really, at Walford, if you don't have success, you may as well be a failiure. So really, that kind of makes me a failiure by default... but i won't go there. (btw, not saying that i'm the only person who thinks like this) You see, at the end of the year, if i don't do well - i'm talking over 90.0TER here - then i'll be sooooo disappointed, just because of all of the expectations! Plus, i need about 95.0 to get into the courses i want! THE PRESSURE!!!

To clarify - I'm not saying i'm a failiure! I'm just saying that i have noooooo success with ANYTHING, ever. EVER!!! I can't even stop biting my nails properly. And whenever i do, i rip one and then i'm back to square one! I looked at the stats and they're not good - The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. Cheery, hey.

Well, i'm working on a new philosophy - no expectations for life. You see, if you have no expectations, you can't be disapointed by anything or anyone! What do you think? It's like borrowing money from a pessimist - he'll never expect it back, just like i'll never expect success! I'm proud of the parallells i can draw...