Ahhhh...

I have too much to do. I've also had plenty of free time recently, that i have completely wasted. I have readings to finish before i start my 2100wrd essay that's due early this week. I then have more readings, and three exams to prepare for. While it all seems like it's a way off right now, it's actually looming awfully quickly. And i've got the feeling i'm totally screwed.

The last few days have consisted of me wasting my free time, working at stateswim and at church, going to youth group, hanging out with a friend and drinking iced coffee at the 24-hr Villi's bakehouse. It's hardly been anything close to productive... I just don't WANT to work. I'm majorly starting to feel the stress, unfortunately.

On another note, i'm feeling very unsettled about something. It's not unusual for me to not know what i'm thinking about things, not to trust my own mind to not be tricking me or to believe what i first think and not second guess myself. I don't know what to think, how to react, and what the right thing to do is. I could wait it out... but maybe i should do something else? Hard to know what my thoughts are all jumbled, and i've no idea which thoughts are my own and which are put there by society, expectations and delusions of a better world. I wish i could just weed out my true thoughts from everything else!