After circling the psych carpark today like a hawk, i finally swiped a car park near to my lecture theatre. Parking there was supposed to save me time from walking from the law carparks, so that i'd have time to read over the notes that i'd neglected to re-read this morning. I got to the theatre, sat down... and realised i was in the wrong place. Eventually, i realised i needed to be up in the law building, because for some reason my psych class was up there. It would have been much faster to park up in law. Instead, i was late to class and went straight into my test, without having time to re-read my notes.
There were 10 multiple choice questions, five short answers. A mark out of 20 overall. I knew some parts of the topic really well. But when you only have 15 questions, there's not much chance to show off your knowledge. And naturally, because i have the luck of Oedipus, most of the test covered the parts i was less sure on. Ok, most of the time i had some idea... but i could have done so much better. I didn't have the slighest idea what the phenomonological aspects of humanistic society were - so i made up an answer based on other stuff i knew about the humanistic theory, that i later discovered wasn't even close to being right. So that's one question i definitely screwed up. Two points gone.
I'm annoyed because i know i could have gone better. But i didn't study hard enough. I didn't try hard enough. I was too busy stressing about the rest of the crap in my life. Now i feel stupid, like a failiure, like i should've tried harder, like i should have done better, like i should have just fucking got over the rest of the crap in my life and finally done some decent study so that maybe i'll get good grades, get into honours and then have the qualifications i want, so i can get the hell out of here and away from everything i know, to start again.
Maybe i didn't totally screw up the test. But right now, it pretty much feels like i can just add this to the huge pile of failiures that i can always see stacking up next to me out of the corner of my eye.
There were 10 multiple choice questions, five short answers. A mark out of 20 overall. I knew some parts of the topic really well. But when you only have 15 questions, there's not much chance to show off your knowledge. And naturally, because i have the luck of Oedipus, most of the test covered the parts i was less sure on. Ok, most of the time i had some idea... but i could have done so much better. I didn't have the slighest idea what the phenomonological aspects of humanistic society were - so i made up an answer based on other stuff i knew about the humanistic theory, that i later discovered wasn't even close to being right. So that's one question i definitely screwed up. Two points gone.
I'm annoyed because i know i could have gone better. But i didn't study hard enough. I didn't try hard enough. I was too busy stressing about the rest of the crap in my life. Now i feel stupid, like a failiure, like i should've tried harder, like i should have done better, like i should have just fucking got over the rest of the crap in my life and finally done some decent study so that maybe i'll get good grades, get into honours and then have the qualifications i want, so i can get the hell out of here and away from everything i know, to start again.
Maybe i didn't totally screw up the test. But right now, it pretty much feels like i can just add this to the huge pile of failiures that i can always see stacking up next to me out of the corner of my eye.
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