When I Grow Up...

'He who does not weep, does not see...'
- Les Miserables

When i was five, i fancied myself a writer. I, along with my next door neighbours, made little picture books all the time. I hope i have them somewhere still.

When i was seven, i wrote books at school, with a basic plot and some barely-recognisable pictures. I had them bound, and the library gave them a barcode and put them in the library. Does that count me as a published author?

When i was eleven, George and i made up a story about two sets of twins, their horses, and their wombats. It was a little bizzare. But we had it all figured out, and were so determined to write it!

When i was fifteen, i wrote a book for my personal project in year ten. It was very 'Feeling Sorry for Celia', with letters, emails, IM-convos and bulletins. The plot wasn't too bad, but it never had quite enough substance and reality to please me. Still, it was a hundred or so pages long, so it wasn't a terrible effort. I wanted to be one of those authors who was published while still in her teens.

When i was eighteen, i gave up on the idea of being an author. I could never disentangle my life from the plot, and it all just got too confusing. There's no way i could write about something i don't even understand! I figured that there was no way i'd ever be able to write something worth reading... no matter how badly i wanted to.

This year, i tried again. I didn't get past the tenth page. But i think i'm going to try again. I don't know what else i want to be. But, before i die, i want to write a novel. Even if it never really goes anywhere.

When i grow up, i want to be a writer. I want to write something like Les Mis, that takes the world by storm and goes down in history as 'one of the greats'. But, ok, i recognise that to be somewhat of an unrealistic goal, so i'd be happy just to write something, get it published and have people like it. How does that sound?