I've got millions of idiosyncracies - i bite my nails when i'm upset, i have too many photos, i am OCD but criminally undermotivated, i run my hands through my hair when i'm dancing... i'm also a huge nerd who spent the day looking forward to spending a few hours in Borders, wandering around and looking at all the books. Perfection.
This weekend, another one of my idiosyncracies is coming into play; for the first time, due to a distinct lack of anyone better to do the job, i have to lead music team at church. I'm terrified. I've managed to wriggle away from leading everytime i've been asked in the past. My musical knowledge is lacking; i can sing, but i can't really read music well enough to tell other people how i want them to play it. My one comfort was to think that i'd have people who i know playing with me, so that when it became cripplingly obvious that i had no idea what i was doing, at least i'd only look stupid infront of my friends. However, everyone has plans this weekend, so i'll quite possibly be playing with a bunch of strangers. Add my fear of strangers to my fear of leading and i'm completely freaked out...
I really don't know if i can do this. The people that are playing intimidate the heck out of me - i'm rally not looking forward to looking like an idiot who can't play music for shit. Plus, without a boy voice, there's no guarantee that we'll sound decent... then everyone in the congregation will think i suck too...
Geez, i'm insecure - but here's hoping that it'll all work out ok in the end!!
This weekend, another one of my idiosyncracies is coming into play; for the first time, due to a distinct lack of anyone better to do the job, i have to lead music team at church. I'm terrified. I've managed to wriggle away from leading everytime i've been asked in the past. My musical knowledge is lacking; i can sing, but i can't really read music well enough to tell other people how i want them to play it. My one comfort was to think that i'd have people who i know playing with me, so that when it became cripplingly obvious that i had no idea what i was doing, at least i'd only look stupid infront of my friends. However, everyone has plans this weekend, so i'll quite possibly be playing with a bunch of strangers. Add my fear of strangers to my fear of leading and i'm completely freaked out...
I really don't know if i can do this. The people that are playing intimidate the heck out of me - i'm rally not looking forward to looking like an idiot who can't play music for shit. Plus, without a boy voice, there's no guarantee that we'll sound decent... then everyone in the congregation will think i suck too...
Geez, i'm insecure - but here's hoping that it'll all work out ok in the end!!
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