I take a long time to feel comfortable with people. Eventually, i'm generally ok with most. But it takes awhile. I can't force it, i'll be comfortable with them when i am comfortable, and not a minute sooner.
However, recently, i'm being pushed into friendships with people that i don't really know, am not comfortable with and do not want to be pushed together with! These people are all lovely, don't get me wrong. But being friends with people and being comfortable with them isn't good enough for me, and i can't just suffer through it - because when i'm uncomfortable in a situation my heart constricts and it's harder to breathe.
I don't see why i have to be friends with everyone, right away, just because it's what everyone else wants. I know it's part of my job to be super cheery and friend-to-all, but it's just not on. Don't push me!! I'll get there in my own time - and until i do, don't call me difficult, or stubborn, or stupid. It's hard, so just let me get there on my own.
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