Complicated

I think Avril Lavigne has a point when she wails on about everything being so complicated. Nothing is easy anymore. At least, in my case, where getting out of bed is a trial, leaving the house takes a half hour of convincing and even my parents have noticed that the whole 'annabel rarely smiling' thing has become an 'annabel never smiling' thing. So i'm liking Avril's point.

I love my friends and i can't not love them. When i said before that i got hurt really badly a few times, that doesn't mean that i love them any less. These things happen. I can be upset, but i'm not good at doing angry. Yes, these things apparently like to happen to me repetitively, but maybe that just means i should learn my lesson and not expect anything different. Either way, i don't do angry very well. I'm much more the type to sit around and feel blank. No emotion directed at anyone in particular. Emotionless. But, in time, usually, it gets a little better.

Yesterday, one of the parents at work told me i was looking radiantlybeautiful. That was nice - although slightly spoiled by teasing from the boys that the radiant look was because i'm pregnant (i'm not). Yesterday, one of my swimming kids hugged me so tightly that i couldn't pry him off me. Yesterday, i lent my jumper to one of the kids and earnt myself a worshipper for the afternoon. I kissed a crab for him. He gave me hugs to keep me warm. He was a little darling. These are the things that made my weekend. These are the things that i should focus on. Maybe i should worry that the things that make me smile are children and not much else. But i'm going to pretend it's normal to smile more often at work than anywhere else.

It's the last week of uni holidays. I've got a week to get out of this funk, have some fun and enjoy the last remnants of freedom.