Another Step

Little By Little

I'm a different person to who i was last year. And hopefully i'm a different person to who i'm going to be next year. Last year i wore jeans and jumpers all year round. I hated parties. I didn't talk to people i didn't know. This year, i can be seen in a dress (though i dont know how good an idea that is). I like parties (for the most part). I talk to guys. But i still freak out around people that i don't know. I'm talking seriously freak out. Put me in a crowd, or shove me into a situation where i need to make nice with strangers and i feel butterflies that have gone turbo-charged in my stomach. It's not fun. But i can't help it. And it doesn't help when people say that i 'just need to get over it'. I can deal with being in those situations. I do well in them and most people don't know how freaked i am. But it doesn't mean i'm comfortable.

Today, i took a step towards being the someone else that i want to be. I got myself into a situation that combined meeting new people, awkward conversation, a boy... the works. And i survived to tell the tale!! What was this lovely situation? Yep, you guessed it, i had a 'date'. I use the term loosley, because really a guy just asked me to a movie, but the girls classified it as a 'date' for lack of a better word.

It went really well. Aside from the fact that it took me five minutes to get out of the car because i was so freaked out. But other than that, all went well. We saw Spiderman 3 (which was really good - a perfect mix of action and romance - except for the part where Spidey turned emo... random...). We didn't run out of conversation. We talked, laughed, joked. He insisted on paying for my ticket and he paid when we went out for a cup of tea after, aswell. Cute! Nobody has ever paid for me before. He was really nice. He'd dislocated his shoulder yesterday and refused to go home, even though it was obviously hurting him. Typical male :P I had a really good time.

That's not to say i know where this will go. I'm indecisive - it's one of the things that i'm working on. But i'll be sure to keep you posted.

Today left me smiling for the first time in awhile. I had fun. And it left me one step closer to being the person that i want to be. Plus, i've never been on a date before, so it was definately news worthy!

Annie