The Beginning of the End...
Well, this is it. There are two days of school left and i'm starting to freak out. After this thursday, i will ever again rise at an unholy hour, don a blue potato sack and trudge off to a cememt prison where i should sit all day and absorb abslutely nothing - but still have masses of work to do... and when you put it like that, it definately sounds like a good thing. However, when you think of all that i'll miss out on, the benefits seem less prominent; i won't have the girls on call 18/7 and we'll actally have to make the effort to see each other. There'll be no reason to make up after a fight (as in, we won't just be forced to for the good of the common room) and i can see things falling apart. And that's going to be the worst thing - i hate being by myself and my friends are everything to me. I don't know what i'm going to do without them!
But it's not just the friends. We're being cast out into the 'real' world, with little or no idea of what to do once we're out there. By early next year, most of my closest friends will have headed off - or will be about to head off - to the wonders of England, South Africa and America, among other places. Now, that'll be scary, but the fun that they'll be having will cancel that out, i'm sure. Others are excited about the job they'll be doing or the course that they'll be studying. Me? Not so much. I have to stay here in Adelaide, am not going to get a 96.0 TER to do Psych or Law and therefore will end up doing Arts, which i'm feeling pretty blah about, will be working a whole bunch of jobs to earn much needed money to repay the rents for various things and have had the next few years of my life planned out for me by the my parents - without any of my input or consent. Whether i like it or not, i'm going to be here at uni next year. It's that or be disowned by the family, which isn't high on my list of things to do...
So, i'll get to uni and know nobody. Being excruciatingly shy, i'll continue to know nobody for at least a long while. Seeing as i hate being by myself, that'll be interesting. I can sense some major personality adjustments in my future... damn it, change sucks!!!
So, we have a pretty dodgy Pre-Graduation Night coming up, followed by a veeeery shady 'Celebration' Day (not 100% sure just how much i'll be celebrating...) and then out Graduation... By this Friday night, i'll officially be an Old Scholar and Walford will no longer be my primary residence. Scary, huh? A weeks SWAT vac, then exams - which aren't stressing me out too much yet, thank goodness! - our christmas concert and speech night and then it'll be over...
Yes, i know i complain about my workload all the time - and i'm not saying that i'll miss that! But we really do have a community thing going here and a built-in support network on call and that's the thing that's going to leave a hole in me, at least for awhile, what, with everyone off doing exciting new things that they can't wait to do and all...
The only star on the horizon? My 18th isn't all that far away now and after that it just seems like playing grown-up will be all that much easier. Somehow, before then, i think i'll feel like a fraud, just playing dress-ups...
Ok, so i may seem whingy here - and i know i'm just adding to the child-like image, but that's ok, because we all know the maturity thing is all an act, don't we. But right now, i'm THIS close to panicking about what the real world holds and i have NO idea how i'm going to figure it out all by myself. No help from the parental quarters, at least...
Well, i'm sure i'll survive somehow... but who i am at the end of it all is going to make for a very interesting suprise.
I'll keep you posted through it all!
Yours in distress,
Annie
xoxo
Well, this is it. There are two days of school left and i'm starting to freak out. After this thursday, i will ever again rise at an unholy hour, don a blue potato sack and trudge off to a cememt prison where i should sit all day and absorb abslutely nothing - but still have masses of work to do... and when you put it like that, it definately sounds like a good thing. However, when you think of all that i'll miss out on, the benefits seem less prominent; i won't have the girls on call 18/7 and we'll actally have to make the effort to see each other. There'll be no reason to make up after a fight (as in, we won't just be forced to for the good of the common room) and i can see things falling apart. And that's going to be the worst thing - i hate being by myself and my friends are everything to me. I don't know what i'm going to do without them!
But it's not just the friends. We're being cast out into the 'real' world, with little or no idea of what to do once we're out there. By early next year, most of my closest friends will have headed off - or will be about to head off - to the wonders of England, South Africa and America, among other places. Now, that'll be scary, but the fun that they'll be having will cancel that out, i'm sure. Others are excited about the job they'll be doing or the course that they'll be studying. Me? Not so much. I have to stay here in Adelaide, am not going to get a 96.0 TER to do Psych or Law and therefore will end up doing Arts, which i'm feeling pretty blah about, will be working a whole bunch of jobs to earn much needed money to repay the rents for various things and have had the next few years of my life planned out for me by the my parents - without any of my input or consent. Whether i like it or not, i'm going to be here at uni next year. It's that or be disowned by the family, which isn't high on my list of things to do...
So, i'll get to uni and know nobody. Being excruciatingly shy, i'll continue to know nobody for at least a long while. Seeing as i hate being by myself, that'll be interesting. I can sense some major personality adjustments in my future... damn it, change sucks!!!
So, we have a pretty dodgy Pre-Graduation Night coming up, followed by a veeeery shady 'Celebration' Day (not 100% sure just how much i'll be celebrating...) and then out Graduation... By this Friday night, i'll officially be an Old Scholar and Walford will no longer be my primary residence. Scary, huh? A weeks SWAT vac, then exams - which aren't stressing me out too much yet, thank goodness! - our christmas concert and speech night and then it'll be over...
Yes, i know i complain about my workload all the time - and i'm not saying that i'll miss that! But we really do have a community thing going here and a built-in support network on call and that's the thing that's going to leave a hole in me, at least for awhile, what, with everyone off doing exciting new things that they can't wait to do and all...
The only star on the horizon? My 18th isn't all that far away now and after that it just seems like playing grown-up will be all that much easier. Somehow, before then, i think i'll feel like a fraud, just playing dress-ups...
Ok, so i may seem whingy here - and i know i'm just adding to the child-like image, but that's ok, because we all know the maturity thing is all an act, don't we. But right now, i'm THIS close to panicking about what the real world holds and i have NO idea how i'm going to figure it out all by myself. No help from the parental quarters, at least...
Well, i'm sure i'll survive somehow... but who i am at the end of it all is going to make for a very interesting suprise.
I'll keep you posted through it all!
Yours in distress,
Annie
xoxo
1 comment:
I'M GONNA MISS SCHOOL SO MUCH!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHRRRGGG.
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