The Dangers of (non-)Spooning

It's Not Safe To Sleep...

Just when you thought that the only place for you to be safe from the retardation of the natural world was tucked up in your bed, something comes along to knock that little fantasy down, faster than a world-class ten-pin bowler... well, at least, it does if you've got friends like mine! :P

Picture this;

It's been a long and shitty day (more so than usual, thanks to my being stranded, all alone on s street corner, ditched by a mate who took off with my crush, who'd just informed me about hi new girlfriend... but more on that later). You made it to a friends house - late, due to aforementioned hiccough - and you've watched a couple of crappy-but-good movies (you know the ones) and now you're just about ready to snooze; after some 3am snacking and dancing in the kitchen :P You're all tucked onto your half of the single matress, with a half dozen people on the three mattresses around you (it's called being space-efficient) and you're waiting for the last person to lie down on the other half of your mattress so that you can get some sleep.

Three hours later - which means about 5 o'clock - your mattress buddy has wriggled around in a chair, standing up sparodically to tell me he's going home to bed... but then sitting down again... then getting out my sleeping bag and rustling in the chair... then scaring the shit out of me, wandering around the room... then finally asking if he could use the spare half-a-mattress next to me (which, by the way, had been on offer from the start... what did he think, that i was sleeping in about 30cms of space because it was COMFY?!?). You get a few hours - minutes? - sleep before one of you get's up to leave for sport (or something, sorry mate, i wasn't really paying attention) and then doze for a little longer.

Not too long after that, we're up and eating spaghetti for some reason, when my sporting buddy is back to look for her earings. My mattress partner (do u like my attempt to not name people here? :P) goes a-wandering off home and then it all comes out...

Sporting Buddy (SB): So, having fun spooning Mattress partner (MP) there?

Me: EXCUSE ME?!?

SB: Lol, don't deny it, i saw it when i got up this morning...

...and so it continued. You see, apparently, because we were sleeping facing the same direction and close together (due to the fact that we were smushed onto the one mattress, but apparently that is a minor detail), we were spooning. Even though neither of us knew it. Or got any of the perks :P Lol, don't you think i would've admitted to it (quite happily) SHOULD IT HAVE ACTUALLY HAPPENED?!?

Anyhoo, the moral of this seemingly random tale, which will make little sense or be particularly amusing to anyone other than myself, Sporting Buddy, Mattress Partner and one or two others, is to be veeerrrryyy careful next time you're sleeping next to somebody on a small mattress or you, too, could be accused of spoonidge where there was none! Not fun, trust me :P If it's going to be spread around that you've been spooning people, try to make sure it was actually people you were spooning, it'll be sooooo much easier!

Ok, that's it for this random little bloggie!

See ya!