Staring Into The Void

Really, i have no vision. Literally, that's true, seeing as i'm as blind as a bat. But figuratively it's true too. I'm studying law - but i don't really want to be a lawyer. I'm studying psychology - but i don't want to be a psychologist. I teach swimming - but it earns me no money, so i'm thinking i'll quit after christmas. I write - but not enough to get me anywhere. I sing - but not enough to get me anywhere. I work with kids - but that won't last forever, so i'm questioning the point. I go to church - but i'm not going to be a minster.

That covers almost every aspect of my life that could lead to a career in any way. I know i've got another three and a half years before i graduate, but i really don't like not having a plan. Come summer vacation, (everything in adelaide stops for summer...) it looks like i'll be jobless - i hate my swimming job and my inability to do things other than stuff and stamp envelopes has been discovered. So, i will be trying to join the ranks of the millions of christmas casuals across the world. Maybe the fruit shop? The newsagency? Bed, Bath 'n' Table? Ahh, the wonderful world of retail. Maybe three months in retail will give me something to aspire to - or at least something resembling a real job to put on my resume...

It's very disconcerting to have no goals. It's like driving along one of those roads that disapear into the horizon in a fuzzy little blur. You're just not quite sure where you're headed.