Shakespeare Had The Right Idea

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.
(Sonnet 130)

If you actually read this sonnet and look at what the words are telling you, you'll see that it isn't exactly your regular love poem. Nor was it meant to be. Shakespeare, even though we often think of his as a funny little man in tights with curly hair, had a pretty awesome sense of humour. In a way very similar to how my friends and i mock those who wear high heels to uni as if they were at a fashion show, Shakespeare mocked the soppy love poems written by other bards of his time.

Instead of writting about how his woman was an actual goddess, with eyes that shine like mercury and lips that are bowed like cupids bow, he decided to be a little more realistic. Her lips aren't red enough, her eyes don't shine, she smells dodgy and her voice is nothing to sing about. This woman, whoever she is, is clearly human. And someone loves her, more than any other, and in his mind she's a goddess.

Shakespeare's right on the money.